"We've become morons much more quickly than we anticipated," said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. "Though it initially seemed like an impossible feat, our hard work to turn the United States into a nation governed by total imbeciles is nearly complete. We've succeeded in weeding out the country's best and brightest and replaced them with drooling dolts. There's now light at the end of the tunnel. The dream of a nation run entirely by idiots is within reach."

Proponents of the transition to idiocracy cited the recent statements made by Texas Congresswoman Sheils Jackson Lee regarding the moon and sun as clear evidence the plan is ahead of schedule.