“We’d have it to him today!” Donald Trump declared, although his proposed largesse to Joe Biden has an ulterior motive. The presumptive Democratic nominee has confined himself to quarters during the COVID-19 pandemic, but that means that Biden isn’t producing enough gaffes to keep the video-cutters at Team Trump employed. If we’re gonna reopen America, then it has to start with getting Joe Biden out of his basement, Trump told Fox & Friends this morning:

“Yes, 100 percent,” Trump said during a phone interview on “Fox & Friends.” “I would love to see him get out of the basement so he can speak.”

Trump then suggested that Biden’s public appearances would help his own reelection campaign and claimed that Biden’s campaign did not want him to emerge from the basement studio where he has been conducting news interviews and staging other campaign appearances.

“Every time he talks it’s like a good thing,” the president said.

“They don’t want him to come out,” Trump continued. “I’ll give them the test immediately. We would have it to them today.”

Are we sure that Biden needs Trump’s donation — or more to the point, that Biden’s not already supplying Team Trump with fresh material? His attempt at a virtual rally for Tampa voters went about as well as you’d imagine. His “am I on?” was only the start of the problems, and it wasn’t only conservatives who noticed, either:

Frankly, Biden’s an ongoing renewable resource for rapid-response workers no matter where he’s at. However, Trump’s correct that it’s easier to rebut what Biden says if one can hear it in the first place.

What’s most curious about this is how badly Team Biden has bungled connectivity even after several weeks of lockdown. If they can’t get better throughput than this at Biden’s house, then they shouldn’t attempt to stage these kinds of events in the first place. Either that or Biden should rustle up the cash to relocate to a temporary residence that does have sufficient bandwidth to conduct the COVID-19 equivalent of the old front-porch campaign. These certainly don’t contribute to the idea that Biden will restore either competence or confidence to the White House.

There’s no word yet from Biden about whether he’ll accept Trump’s offer. He’d better do something to get out that basement, though. And fast.