REQUIRED LEGAL DISCLAIMER: It so happens that this major transgression against the British State happened last February, and I would hazard a guess that because the details are so gruesome and so unbelievable, it is only now coming into light. HotAir and especially little ol' me are not responsible for what happens if you choose to read the horror that transpired and simply keel over from shock and disbelief.
Deep breath - here we go.
Don't let the walker, kindly face, and white hair fool you.
This criminal, this 86-year-old scofflaw, this public menace named Roy Marsh (and aren't these types all named 'Roy'?) had something blow into his mouth on a blustery day ...
AND THEN HE SPIT A LEAF OUT
Calm down.
Authorities were on him like Chris Christie on a donut.
The miscreant geriatric spitfire only made things worse when he insisted he was innocent - HAH! - of the offense - 'it blew into me mouf!'
Witnessed by not one, but two of East Lindsey district council's finest environmental enforcement officers. The stage three prostate cancer victim and asthma sufferer then had the unmitigated gall to call one of the professional green troopers a 'silly boy.'
OH, YOU'VE DONE IT NOW, YOU OLD WHEEZING GEEZER
One shiny new £250 ticket later...
A pensioner has been fined £250 for littering after spitting out a leaf which blew into his mouth.
— Mike Alderson FRSA (@OpenEyeComms) December 11, 2025
Roy Marsh, 86, was resting in a car park in Skegness, Lincolnshire, when he was hit with the fine.
He had been on a stroll in South Parade car park when a stray leaf blew into his… pic.twitter.com/wrlGpcBl1N
I kid you not.
No wonder the council in Skegness didn't want this getting out.
Roy Marsh was on his daily walk round a gusty, deserted Skegness boating lake when he stopped to seek shade near the beach car park.
The 86-year-old grandfather, who has stage-three prostate cancer and severe asthma, parked his rollator walking aid and sat down on a bench when some beach grass flew into his mouth. He spat it out immediately and got a tap on the shoulder.
“Out of nowhere there came these two enforcement officers and they said, ‘Can I have a word?’,” Marsh said. “One said, ‘I have reason to believe you’ve been spitting’. I said, ‘No, I never’.”
Despite his protests, the environmental enforcement officers, working on behalf of East Lindsey district council, gave Marsh a £250 fine. “If God had been there and the leaf hit him in the mouth he’d have spat it out,” he said.
Especially when you find out how ridiculous it was to begin with, and then, 'on appeal,' the tightwad money grubbers were only willing to reduce Roy's fine to £150 instead of chuck the whole thing out entirely.
Now the enforcement Stasi are targeting the old guy for being such a pest.
...Marsh and his wife Anne, 76, paid the fine, which was reduced to £150 on appeal, because they did not want any more strain on top of his health problems.
However, last month, an enforcement officer targeted Marsh again on his daily walk round the lake. This time he narrowly avoided another fine.
“They are bullies picking on old people,” Mrs Marsh said. “Roy was walking and took a tissue out his pocket to blow his nose and an enforcement officer followed him.
“He said, ‘I saw you take something our your pocket. Where is it?’ The tissue was in his hand so the guy said, ‘Oh sorry mate’, but he shouldn’t have done that. Roy had done nothing wrong. They are like a group of hyenas when they get together. They hang round toilets and hope people drop something so they can nab them.”
One member of the Lincolnshire County Council said he's getting quite a few complaints about the heavy-handed way the environmental officers are dealing with folks out in the marsh.
...He told the BBC: 'They (enforcement officers) are taking it too far. If I came here on holiday and was given a £250 fine I wouldn't want to risk coming back.
'There needs to be discretion about how they (enforcement officers) issue fines. We can't expect elderly people to chase crisp packets down the road if it's windy.
'If it looks like a genuine accident then give people opportunity to apologise and pick it up.'
All his efforts to have the Skegness city council rein in their rabid dogs have been for naught, though, because
ENVIRONMENTAL CRIME OFFENSES ARE DEADLY SERIOUS BUSINESS, AND WE MUST CHANGE BEHAVIORS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
...East Lindsey District Council said enforcement teams, who work on behalf of the authority, would 'only approach individuals who have been seen committing environmental crime offences'.
Not to mention, they're incredibly lucrative for the cities that employ such enforcers.
...In October, the Daily Mail told how a woman was slapped with a £150 fine for pouring the remnants of her coffee down a drain after she was 'chased' by three council officers.
Burcu Yesilyurt, from Kew, west London, said she tipped a small amount of the drink from her reusable cup down the road gully because she didn't want to spill it on the bus.
But moments later, she was 'shocked' to see three male enforcement officers 'chasing' her down the street as she stood at the bus stop near Richmond station.
The officers fined her £150 under Section 33 of the Environmental Protection Act 1990, reduced to £100 if she paid within 14 days.
CHA-CHING
...But Richmond-upon-Thames Council insisted its officers 'acted professionally and objectively' and were 'justified' in issuing the fine.
Of course, they did.
They are getting quite a reputation for performing their public service, even going so far as to demand poop bag counts for dog walkers. That's dedication.
...“These people sit and wait in their car and watch people come out of the supermarket and if anybody, elderly or otherwise, drops anything they jump on them,” Fitzpatrick said. “They are stopping people who’ve got dogs asking them if they got poop bags. If you’ve only got one poop bag they either fine you or make you go back to your car and get another. It’s outrageous. They spoke to my dad like he is dirt and they are Mr Muscle.”
That's living in an authoritarian state.
And spit!
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