Chicago's very own Brandon 'Bear of Little Brains' Johnson must be a teensy bit jealous of all the attention focused on New York for the past week or so. He's been making argle-bargle noises and trying twice as hard to look ridiculous while ruining what's left of his city twice as fast as before.
And still no one outside of his constituents is paying any attention, and even those poor sods are simply counting down the days 'til they can boot him.
CALL A WAAHMBULANCE
The first kind of baffling call to action I saw was a segment from a press conference where Johnson asked people to support the little local stores, 'particularly in our black and brown communities,' because many of their businesses were down 60%. Well, even allowing for the man's overt racist tendencies, it's a mayor's duty to ask locals to support local businesses, so no worries.
But then, inexplicably - I guess because he can't help himself - the Bear tosses in this gem
'...Donald Trump has done more to harm our economy than any other president in modern history. He is an abysmal failure.'
WHUT
What does Donald Trump have to do with the struggling economy in Chicago?
— Libs Of Chicago (@Libs_OfChicago) November 7, 2025
If he’s responsible for that then perhaps he should be given credit for everything the Mayor generally attempts to take credit for?
Also, if you buy goods from a business because of the race of the person… pic.twitter.com/SlGiwXtSZH
Where did that even come from?
The abysmal Chicago economy belongs solely to Brandon Johnson.
OH, NO, IT DON'T!
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson blames past administrations after rating agency’s negative budget outlook
Mayor Brandon Johnson defended his 2026 budget proposal Thursday following a rating agency lowering its outlook on the city this week, which signaled a potential future credit downgrade to one notch above junk status.
And he addressed budget cuts he wants to make in 2026 at Chicago libraries, which have drawn criticism.
Speaking to reporters at City Hall, the mayor responded to S&P Global Ratings dropping Chicago from stable to negative the previous day by arguing his $16.6 billion spending plan for next year is in fact “very sound” despite scaling back an advance pension payment. S&P already knocked Chicago down to two notches about junk status in January following the mayor’s 2025 budget.
Yesterday, S&P downgraded Chicago’s credit outlook to negative. They cited three reasons ⬇️
— Austin Berg (@Austin__Berg) November 7, 2025
1. Brandon Johnson’s proposed budget using new borrowing to pay for operating costs.
2. Brandon Johnson’s proposed budget cutting the city’s advanced pension payment.
3. A state law… https://t.co/sexfGeXcrO pic.twitter.com/sMdCDYdWJg
...Here is the response to that downgrade from Johnson’s largest backer, Stacy Davis Gates, who leads the Chicago Teachers Union and Illinois Federation of Teachers: “Credit scores or school cuts or cuts to anti-violence programs..oh my! What shall we ever do?”
This is becoming the dominant mental model of Johnson’s administration: Our financial health does not matter. And we deserve a bailout from Springfield and the federal government. ..
They're all such greedy, ignorant tools.
And not everyone's falling for the Trump in the tailpipe trick.
...Employing dark imagery of federal troops waiting to touch down in Chicago and immigration agents snatching mothers outside schools, the freshman chief executive’s 2026 budget address repeatedly cast his $16.6 billion spending plan as the city’s best response to President Donald Trump.
“This is not rhetoric. This is a reality,” the mayor told aldermen. “The ‘Protecting Chicago’ budget protects Chicagoans from Trump’s cuts and his attacks on our city. It protects the services and programs that Chicagoans rely upon.”
However, Johnson’s rhetoric around his first Trump-era budget does not, in fact, match the reality of what’s driving the city’s fiscal woes.
But it got even wilder at that press conference about the budget.
I don't know what this guy's on, but it's got to be good.
So, the Bear wants to slap a $21 per employee head tax per month on every corporation doing business in the city that employs over 100 people. Even Pritzker has told him he's out of his mind, but the Bear just gets more stubborn about sticking to it the more he's told he's nuts.
At this press conference, reporters got into it with him about opposition to the head tax from everybody and their mothers, business owners and leaders to city and state elected officials, and Johnson exploded into a 'what is wrong with us - why are we indulging millionaires and billionaires' rant when 'we're not doing anything for the people in Austin' etc. as he rattled off sections of the city.
And then - whoa, dawg - he said:
'...Tuesday's election night victories in New York and other municipalities is PROOF people want HIS model of governing...'
Yeah. He really did.
Brandon Johnson wants businesses in Chgo with over (100) employees to pay $21 dollars a head per month, so he can go out and buy votes with
— @Chicago1Ray 🇺🇸 (@Chicago1Ray) November 7, 2025
He points to Mamdani as something he says he wants in Chicago
Despite opposition from Pritzker and
an S&P downgrade
Liberalism doesn't… pic.twitter.com/RPpqq9qO9L
THEY WANT SOMEONE LIKE ME!
Holy crap.
As much as he puffed himself up over that, it's no wonder that he felt empowered to then call on the United Nations Human Rights Commission to investigate the Trump administration for their immigration enforcement and *checks notes* SNAP benefits cuts.
Yeah. He really did.
Even invited the whole UNHRC crew to come to lovely Chicago and check it out for themselves.
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson called on the United Nations Human Rights Council to investigate alleged “violations of human rights” under the Trump administration during virtual remarks delivered Friday from Geneva, Switzerland.
“This administration seeks to evade scrutiny for its violations of human rights — just as it has sought to evade accountability for its actions in cities like mine,” Johnson said.
He urged the U.N. to hold the U.S. to the same standards it applies to other nations.
“We cannot do this alone,” Johnson said. “That is why I call on this Council to hold the federal government of the United States to the same standards of accountability you apply elsewhere in the world. No country should be above international law. Human rights are universal — or they are meaningless.”
Johnson also criticized federal cuts to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, saying they’ve deepened food insecurity for residents.
I don't think anyone on the council has made reservations yet, but that's just me guessing.
No country should be above international law. Human rights are universal — or they are meaningless. pic.twitter.com/f1uh7svkhV
— Mayor Brandon Johnson (@ChicagosMayor) November 7, 2025
What a poser. It's all he's got.
As for Chicago...dawg.
It's a tough row to hoe when someone's so delusional that they believe everyone wants to be them.
And that city surely has itself a prime basketcase to deal with.
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