Welp. Since things are kinda rushed around these here parts, looks like there's going to have to be a significant amount of rehabilitation and urban legend crafting done in a short amount of time.

With the Ides of July death squad fatally shivving the Biden campaign before they had bothered to make sure a replacement Caesar was locked on, Brutus Barack, Gaius Pelosinius, and the other conspirators are ruefully coming to the realization that, while ridding themselves of the doddering, demented old fool, they've trapped themselves with his younger and less...shall we say accomplished? Side kick.

All their pretensions of saving democracy by brutalizing it have fallen to the hall floor along with the paper-thin veneers disguising their panicked self-preservational motives.

Adam Schiff just told the Today Show there was no coordinated campaign to get Biden out and Harris in, which explains how 3,000 endorsements for Kamala came in after about 42 seconds following the Biden letter. Also, he lies like he breathes.

— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) July 22, 2024

For all the machinations behind the scenes and talk of open convention and "democracy" in front of it, they're stuck with Kamala now and can't do squat about it.

Even Pelosi has done the requisite volte-face.

With immense pride and limitless optimism for our country’s future, I endorse Vice President Kamala Harris for President of the United States. I have full confidence that she will lead us to victory in November.
-NP pic.twitter.com/vBwv602GuR

— Nancy Pelosi (@TeamPelosi) July 22, 2024

Now, the Democratic/progressive clean-up machine begins work on a presidential candidate who was never able to make it as far as the first primary on her own, she's that bad.

California Sen. Kamala Harris is dropping out of the presidential race, citing a lack of funds. She informed her campaign staff of the decision on a conference call and later sent an email to supporters, in which she wrote "my campaign for president simply doesn't have the financial resources we need to continue."

Harris' departure, two months before voting and caucusing begin in the presidential contest, marks an abrupt end to a campaign that, for much of the winter and spring, looked like that of a top-tier presidential contender.

"I've taken stock, and I've looked at this from every angle, and over the last few days, I have come to one of the hardest decisions of my life," Harris said in a video announcing her decision. "As the campaign has gone on, it has become harder and harder to raise the money we need to compete."

The mainstream media is already in the works refurbishing her Vice Presidential reputation. As in, Republicans will "call her" the Border Czar, so be ready for that slur, gentle Dems.

There's one small problem with that whitewash job if anyone has six cells more memory than Joe Biden.

She, well...was. 

And she sucked at it, because she couldn't be bothered. Much as she's been a disaster at everything she's been tapped by the Biden White House to do for the past three and a half years.

Kamala can't be bothered to put in the work.

Adam Schiff just told the Today Show there was no coordinated campaign to get Biden out and Harris in, which explains how 3,000 endorsements for Kamala came in after about 42 seconds following the Biden letter. Also, he lies like he breathes.

— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) July 22, 2024

So there's the professional side of it. I do believe that's a buttload of clean-up on its own for Dems in a mad panic to pretend like they have a competent alternative to the guy they just 86ed (Has anybody seen him yet? Asking for the feds...I mean a friend.) There's not enough lipstick to schmear on this porcine to make it remotely resemble a competent politician, less mind "presidential" material.

While in the US Senate, nobody was to the left of Kamala Harris. Not even Bernie Sanders. https://t.co/djxj1k4grg pic.twitter.com/My6vAJWhVo

— Jeremy Redfern (@JeremyRedfernFL) July 22, 2024

...They are trying to do that with Kamala but it won’t work — she is too vacuous, too liberal and too unaccomplished for the voters to buy the manufactured narrative.

She's got a lot of professional baggage, and, unlike Sam Brinson's, it's ALL HERS.

Speaking of baggage, Kamala also has some other ghosts in her closet that are pretty common knowledge, but do expect those to quickly become the "HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO A WOMAN?!" category.

Besides her daffy-asterisked, non-sensical Venn diagram argle-bargle, I'm talking about her bimbo eruptions. The problem is that Harris is the bimbo in the well-documented stories.

“White House aides sometimes felt Harris wasn't a team player and stayed away from any task with risk.”

Yup (see “Border Czar”)

“Harris, 22 years younger, is a multiracial woman who worked her way up in the much larger state of California, where political races often are won by… pic.twitter.com/Z4n6wGEpGO

— IT Guy (@ITGuy1959) July 22, 2024

...“Harris, 22 years younger, is a multiracial woman who worked her way up in the much larger state of California, where political races often are won by how much money you can raise.” 

And what politicians you are sleeping with (see “Willie Brown”) ...

Sage feminist voices are already warning about going there, particularly for elected officials and, God forbid, Trump and Vance, and I wholeheartedly agree with that.

If Republicans want to defeat Kamala, they should cut out all the chest-thumping misogyny, the cracks about her sexual history, etc. It will energize her base more than yours.

They should simply remind the public:

"Kamala is our Border Czar."https://t.co/atErXrMXmC

— Abigail Shrier (@AbigailShrier) July 22, 2024

But don't lecture the rest of us about being circumspect around a candidate, hello.

No doubt that will be awkward for Harris, and seriously. Who wants to deal with it, like, say Trump and Stormy or Trump and [insert name] - all of which he denies to this day, mind you - or any of Bill Clinton's cootchies right?

Yet, somehow, a female candidate's sexual past is supposed to be sacrosanct even though "they're just as good as any guy" running? Like, as long as you don't go there, I guess.

Ah. Modern feminism. There should be no problems with consenting adults doing whatever they want to do in the privacy of their own lives. 

But when someone's business has played out and it's been documented publicly for years, let's not hold outraged hankies to our bosoms in an effort to pretend it didn't happen.

Which will be exactly what will happen. You know the #MeToo hounds and sisters of perpetual outrage will be on the prowl, waiting for a chance to call any mention of Kamala's colorful past sexual harassment or racism or whatever works for hypocritical screeching at the time. And I'm sure Democratic power brokers and the campaign will be grateful if it all goes away.

I do like that cooler, "if it's good for the gander, it's good for the goose candidate" heads are weighing in.

If Trump's sex life is political fodder, then so is everyone else's.

— Pradheep J. Shanker, M.D. (@neoavatara) July 22, 2024

As for keeping her past on the QT for the campaign, someone probably should have told Willie Brown. The old reprobate actually called a press conference to wax poetic on the current situation.

And to give his old squeeze such a rousing endorsement, he wants Biden to resign completely for Harris. I'm sure she'll be thrilled when she hears about it.

Outside John’s Grill on Ellis Street, former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown feigned shock to find reporters from several local outlets with cameras.

...The Mayor for Life and one-time Kamala Harris paramour followed with a perfectly timed rejoinder: “No! I will never be second! Not only that, you know I’m too old. They got rid of the old guy!”

...At a hastily called press conference outside the venerable downtown eatery, Brown weighed in on President Joe Biden’s decision to drop out of the 2024 presidential race and endorse Vice President Kamala Harris as the Democratic nominee.

Brown, who dated Harris when she was an Alameda County prosecutor in the mid-1990s, said he learned of Biden’s decision “35, 40 minutes, maybe an hour ago,” along with the general public. He urged Democrats who had been pushing for Biden to step aside to now rally behind Harris.

...Brown suggested that Biden should resign immediately to allow Harris to assume the presidency, arguing this would “silence all of this nonsense about how best to select some new nominee. … Her chances go up if he would at this moment say not only am I no longer the candidate, I’m no longer the president — she is.”

Brown emphasized Harris’ readiness for the role, citing her youth and the financial resources already available for a campaign, before stressing the importance of defeating former President Donald Trump in the upcoming election.

You don't have to search for Willie.

Google search trends of "willie brown" are insane over the last 4 hours https://t.co/mUsACP81Iw pic.twitter.com/CpUfh2qXo3

— Matthew Foldi (@MatthewFoldi) July 21, 2024

WIllie's making sure you know exactly where he is. 

And Willie sure seems like he's not going to let anyone forget who got Kamala on the way to where she is.

Some people thrive on attention, you know.

Kind of awkward for the story rehab.

How 'bout that border czar?