Thinking outside the Chicago box: How 'bout we just kill each other from 9 p.m. to 9 a.m.?

(John J. Kim/Chicago Tribune via AP)

I supposed there comes a time when things spiral so far out of control that the most laughable suggestion from the back of the room – probably said with a disgusted headshake and dripping in sarcasm – suddenly takes on a life of its own. I’m pretty sure that’s what happened here, with the well-intentioned pie-in-the-sky, profoundly sad piece of ludicrosity put forth by a North Side Chicago community group known “Native Sons.”

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I have to say, this proposal – “The People’s Ordinance” they’re calling it – is going to be no less effective than anything the mayor’s doing or any more ridiculous on its face than what spews out of his piehole when bullets are flying, and bodies piling up. Good on them for trying.

SAFETY WARNING: Don’t have a mouthful of coffee.

Okay. Read.

A North Side community group is calling for people to refrain from shooting guns in Chicago between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. to reduce the risk to people “not involved in high risk activities.”

They want you to get your business done in twelve hours – overnight, essentially. That should be plenty of time to murder, rape, and pillage, and then leave everyone alone so they can get to school, go to work, and grocery shop. Of course, folks who leave early for work, etc, will still have to duck and cover and lock their car doors, but at least they can get home in one piece.

Sounds like a plan…that sounds…familiar.

…“Under this ordinance, we ask that people stop associating with and glorifying’ shooters,’ stop glorifying ‘switches,’ and stop wearing those ski masks everywhere which perpetuates you as some ‘opp,’” Atkins told CWBChicago recently. “When those who live a certain lifestyle try to hang with ‘regular’ class citizens, they put everyone at risk.”

…“If people know that after a certain hour, the likelihood of them being shot by an unknown and unprovoked assailant are at a higher risk, they will be less likely to be out and about, and they may become more proactive with the supervision of their children,” she continued.

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Correct me if I’m wrong, but hasn’t one of life’s great truisms always been “Bad things happen at night“? So, knowing “after a certain hour,” well, something tells me being on the street at 3 a.m. on a weekday with your peeps is increasing the likelihood of being shot or experiencing some encounter detrimental to your health.

MORE PROACTIVE with the supervision of THEIR CHILDREN” has to be one of the root causes of the misery to begin with. Lady, if half these mothers had kept these “children” – literally, children – inside where they belonged after dark, why…I bet problems would start to sink like a stone.

I vividly remember 40+ years ago, living in basically an island in a barrio in Santa Ana, CA. Gunfire at night was pretty common. What would make it interesting was if it was coming up or down our street. Then we were looking to drop on the interior sides of the mattresses.

One night, we were watching a KABC broadcast, and there had been a gang shooting the night before in Los Angeles. As usual, the morons in the car saw someone they wanted to hit, and sprayed the sidewalk, missing him, wounding others but killing a 7 year old. Oh, we just couldn’t believe it.

It was awful.

Then we found out it had happened at 3 a.m. – WHUT. Who let’s a 7 year old run the streets at 3 in the morning?

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Well, the reporter asked the grieving mother, expecting a “Oh, he slipped out,” whatever.

What he got instead was full hackles raised, indignant, HOW DARE YOU posture, with a full throated…

I CAN’T CONTROL NO 7-YEAR-OLD!!!!

…for his answer.

That was 1983 or so. We’ve had decades of that ever since. And now it’s politely tap dancing around encouraging people to become “proactive” with the “supervision” of “THEIR children.” Yet we are required to weep insanely at the loss of life, not the waste of it, when that same unsupervised wee one is gunned down because a 7-year-old is “too much” to control. Or, if the truth be told, mom just can’t be bothered.

In Chicago, as I’m supposing with most big blue cities, there’s a lot of lead being sprayed indiscriminately around, so it would be best for children to be inside after dark. Probably best for any sensible person not part of the carnage, or you would think, if they had any choice in the matter.

In fact there’s sometimes so much lead, it surprises even people who deal with it every day.

That sounds more like a shoot-out in Guadalajara, but it’s just another night in Chicago. No doubt it’s merely more of Mayor Johnson’s youthful constituents acting stupidly. Their parent(s) also are into acting that way.

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And everyone gives them a pass.

Yeah. This is a great Chicago idea.

Fits right in with the rest of their fantasies.

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Beege Welborn 5:00 PM | December 24, 2024
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