"I, Judge Engoron, hereby rule that President Trump must pay -- hang on, let me google what his campaign raised last quarter," said Judge Ergoron. "Oh forget it, whatever it takes to crush Trump's re-election, that's how much Trump owes. Case closed!"

The civil trial was initiated by New York Attorney General Letitia James who argued that Trump received good terms on bank loans, thus endangering democracy. "Trump receiving a slightly better interest rate on a loan fifteen years ago was the death rattle of America," said James. "At last, with using Trump's conviction on a victimless crime to bankrupt one of the two major Presidential candidates, democracy has been saved."