“I didn’t expect to get this call after being out of the game for so long, but I’m happy to help the team any way I can,” Aikman said after news of the signing broke. “I don’t walk as easily as I used to, I tend to forget even the most basic pieces of information after years of taking violent blows to the head, and my right arm fell off back in 2009, but I’m willing to be a team player and suit up again.” …

“We know how beloved Troy is among our fanbase,” said Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. “We feel bringing him back will score us some points with the fans and hopefully score some more points on the field. Anything is better than paying Dak millions of dollars every game to go out and throw the ball to the other team.”

[Ouch, baby. Very ouch. I wonder if Tony Romo’s getting limbered up, though … — Ed]