Some things are sacred. 

Christmas. Easter. The Final Four. And, of course, Scrabble. 

Gen Z--or, more correctly, the adults who taught them that everybody deserves a medal for participation--has turned their back on all of them. 

Actually, I don't know about the Final Four. But this lot even watches soccer. 

My grandma gave her kids, kids-in-law, and grandkids constant beatdowns at this game. The old bat died and everyone who ever managed to beat her just once made sure to say so at the funeral because that's claim-to-fame in our family 😂

Grandma's rolling over in her grave. https://t.co/0bezAdG2bK

— Gretchen Lynn (@Bubola) April 9, 2024

Scrabble, like Monopoly, Chess, and Poker, brings out the killer instincts in all of us. As the baddest predators on the block, we need to keep our skills and our canines sharp—as Grandma did. 

Gen Z, though, is filled with a bunch of socialists who believe that competition is the next worst thing to settler colonialism, so Mattel is dumbing down the game to appeal to people with the attention span of a gnat and the competitive instincts of a sloth. 

This is a game-changer.

For the first time in 75 years, Mattel is making a major change to the iconic board game Scrabble — and touting a “No More Scoring” gameplay option.

The new launch is a double-sided version of the famous board game — one side with the original game for those who want to stick to the long-time traditional version, and one side with a “less competitive” version to appeal to Gen Z gamers.

The flip side of the classic game, called Scrabble Together, will include helper cards, use a simpler scoring system, be quicker to play and allow people to play in teams.

I have no words. At least none that score highly. 

Stop. Actually, I DO have words, but too few of them are publishable on a Townhall site. Damn executives! I have some choice expletives I would like to utter. 

“The makers of Scrabble found that younger people, Gen Z people, don’t quite like the competitive nature of Scrabble,” Gyles Brandreth, who co-hosts the language podcast Something Rhymes With Purple, told BBC Radio 4 Today. “They want a game where you can simply enjoy language, words, being together and having fun creating words.”

Perhaps Mattel could include suggested TikTok dances and rants about Palestine in the game or provide blue hair dye and noserings as rewards for playing "CAT" in the box. Wigs, lipstick, and dildos would add spice. Use 5 letters and you do a striptease while broadcasting it to minors. 

Geez. Mattel even used the word "inclusive" in their press statement. 

INCLUSIVE. 14 points. I suggest hitting a triple-word score box if you play it. Fourteen points is pretty weak, although if you use all 7 letters...not bad. I'll have to figure out how that is possible. Maybe somebody played US?

Scrabble Together sounds like T-Ball to me. Perfectly appropriate for the 5 and under crowd, but a bit embarrassing once you hit 2nd grade at the latest. 

What are you? A sissy?

Soon we will have DEI versions of the game with various pronoun options, and updated dictionaries weekly with all the new pronouns you can use. 

Xe/xyr. Those can give you some nice points if you can play them. I looked online and the Scrabble dictionary didn't seem to have xyr as a word yet. It is a recognized neopronoun guys!

Scrabble Together should fix that. After all, Gen Z will undoubtedly be using it a lot.