Let’s face it: sex ed has always been a controversial topic in public schools. There have always been arguments on both sides of the debate that have some merit.

On the one hand, once you depart from the purely biological part of the education the schools begin imparting values to which parents can have a totally legitimate set of objections.

On the other, it’s clear that the community has some interest in ensuring that kids aren’t spreading diseases or producing tons of unwanted pregnancies for which the state will wind up picking up the tab.

I have always leaned toward keeping sex ed pretty sterile: here’s how things work, kids. Talk to your parents about your values, read widely, and don’t be hasty about anything. The choices you make now will change your life forever. Better be safe than sorry…

Whatever your thoughts about the issue in the past, by now it should be clear to everybody who isn’t totally in the tank to the alphabet people that we should banish anybody who teaches sex education to children, other than basic biology, to the deepest levels of hades.

Let’s take a look at what was given by a Planned Parenthood sex educator–Planned Parenthood is one of the providers that commonly helps schools teach sex ed in schools, and it provides a lot of curricular material that is used by “educators”–to 9th graders at a school in Saskatchewan. It is an ABC book to teach sexual terms.

And yes, a 9th-grade student picked this up from the materials handed out by Planned Parenthood and showed it to his parents.

1. SAFER-SEX TRIVIA
Ask the person if they want to play a trivia game with you. Fan the deck out to the individual and
ask them to draw a card.

Read aloud the letter of the card, and the topic the letter stands for. For example, “A is for autofellatio.”
Ask them if they know what it is, or to tell you something about it.

There is a sexual health tip related to each one, provided on the back of the card.

Ask them: “Do you know a safer sex strategy related to this card?” They may guess the one mentioned on the card, or another.

Additionally:
a. Engage in further discussion around any strategies not on the card.
b. If playing with more than 1 individual, ask them to provide different strategies.
c. If they like, ask them if they’d like to play a second card for an extra prize.

So, let’s take a look at some of the cards they use to “educate” the kids and stimulate discussion, shall we?

Well, we certainly started out with a bang, didn’t we? I hope they also provide the name of a good gymnastics instructor to ensure that everybody engages in this play activity safely. We don’t want to encourage anybody to injure themselves, now would we?

Yes, they went there. But don’t be shocked, Democrats across the country and school librarians are screaming to high heavens that “This Book is Gay” isn’t being handed out as school prizes or something, and it, too, describes “scat play,” so apparently coprophagia is a thing that some people enjoy. Just beware of the parasites. Bad breath, too, could be a problem.

Who could have guessed?

Uh, what? This is a thing?

This is a thing you teach 14-year-old kids?

Really?!

And, in case you thought they had hit bottom, there is this type of hitting bottom to go:

All right, ENOUGH! If you aren’t disgusted enough yet there is no hope for you.

Now Planned Parenthood is claiming that it was a simple mix-up that a kid got ahold of this. Oops, our bad. We really intended this ABC book to go to 30-year-olds and somehow it got into the mix. No biggie.

Besides, the cards were tongue-in-cheek. Nobody seriously thought kids would see them. All that instruction on how to use the cards and how to give them out as prizes? Just a joke. An elaborate, expensive, time-consuming, likely government-funded joke.

Trust us.

And the Saskatchewan Education Minister has temporarily suspended Planned Parenthood from providing any more sex ed trainings…for the next week. They will likely be back next year, though. He’s sure it was a simple error. But best to look into it.

Duncan said the suspension is not indefinite and while there is only a week left in school the reviews he ordered will take place over the scholastic summer break.

“I don’t think that this precludes them from, in the future, being a part of delivering resources and information into the classroom,” said Duncan.

In other words…oops, sorry we got caught. Promise it won’t happen again.

Yeah, right.