Area 51 county declares state of emergency

It’s now less than a month until masses of UFO enthusiasts are set to descend on the tiny hamlet of Rachel, Nevada for “Alienstock.” (Formerly known as Storm Area 51. They Can’t Stop Us All.) With Rachel having a population of slightly more than fifty, this has caused understandable levels of distress. Feeling in need of help with how they will deal with an estimated 25,000 people (if not more) showing up uninvited, the town’s residents have turned to Lincoln County for help. But the total population of the entire county is only 5,200. So they did the only thing that seemed practical. This week they declared a state of emergency. (The Hill)

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A rural Nevada county drafted an emergency declaration in advance of a planned “Storm Area 51” event that is expected to draw thousands of visitors.

Lincoln County, home of U.S. Air Force base Area 51, issued the emergency declaration to help it plan to host the influx of people coming for the two events scheduled for next month after a social media campaign to storm the once-secret base went viral.

Two events in the county of 5,200 residents were approved for next month, according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

Some of the coverage emerging from this insanity is really driving home just how remote and desolate this area is. We’ve noted before that the only hotel in Rachel only has six rooms. But it turns out that there are just 184 hotel rooms in the entire county and most of them are hours away from Rachel, so they would be of no use to the festival attendees anyway.

The Lincoln County Commission Chairman is also expressing concerns over the cell service. He claims if there are more than a couple hundred people using their phones, the service is going to crash. I’ve never actually worked in that end of the industry, but that doesn’t sound right. Is it? Hey… what do I know? Maybe the invading hordes will crash the cell service, cutting them off entirely from emergency services when they start dropping like flies in the desert from dehydration.

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He also said that they will be blocking off the Extraterrestrial Highway. (That’s the road that goes from Rachel to the back gate of the Groom Lake airbase facility.) So if any of these jokers are still thinking of “storming” the place they’re going to have to do it on foot. According to a couple of interviews I’ve watched, it’s an approximately twenty-minute drive from Rachel to the gate. Assuming you can do at least thirty miles an hour, that means it’s at least ten miles. And then, assuming the cammo dudes in the SUVs haven’t already killed you, it’s a much, much, much longer march to actually reach the airfield.

One thing is for sure. Somebody in Rachel ought to be stocking up on cases and cases of bottled water right about now. By the end of the first day of the festival/invasion, they should be able to sell them for ten bucks a pop.

In closing, in case you’ve never heard of the “cammo dudes,” here’s a video showing what happens when you run across them. Good luck with that.

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Jazz Shaw 7:20 PM | March 18, 2024
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