[Cue: sad trombone[

Oh, man. That hound-dog horse-face. All that carbon emitting, globe-trotting effort?

After decades of climate policy flops, Kerry’s effort to secure a climate deal with China falls short yet again https://t.co/8QwMQ2CaYw pic.twitter.com/4UL8m5V201

— Net Zero Watch (@NetZeroWatch) July 19, 2023

For naught.

*waah waah*

The United States and China failed to reach new climate agreements despite “productive” conversations, special climate envoy John Kerry said Wednesday after a four-day visit to Beijing, an outcome that underscores the tensions between the world’s two biggest carbon polluters and economies.

Kerry said the hours of closed-door meetings with senior Chinese officials revealed “things we clearly agreed on,” with both sides committing to regular meetings, including one in the next few weeks. He still expressed hope of achieving breakthroughs that could keep the planet from experiencing disastrous climate change.

“We had a very extensive set of frank conversations and realized that it’s going to take a little bit more work to break the new ground,” Kerry said in a call with the media. “So we’ve agreed that we’re going to meet intensively.”

Just so we’re clear here – “Going to meet intensively” translates in Kerry-speak to, “More urgent trips in not-my-private-jet are required to save the planet, so STFU, peasants.”

Not that Kerry’s urgent trip was covered in glory anyway. From its very beginning, there were bumps along the way – many unforced errors self-induced by the ponderous, sonorous, self-important Czar of Carbonish himself.

In fact, the act of simply going there couldn’t happen without the classic Kerry patrician grandstanding. The private jet accusation, he said, is such “a stupid lie.”

U.S. climate envoy John Kerry defended his negotiations with China — and angrily rebuffed what he called a “stupid” lie that he routinely travels by private jet. https://t.co/9dsytWTWAa pic.twitter.com/2rtPNs4wYb

— FORTUNE (@FortuneMagazine) July 15, 2023

He is so arrogantly disingenuous. He couldn’t possibly think we’ve all forgotten the infamous “No other choice for somebody like me” excuse a couple years ago?

And just because it might not be his personal private jet, his august personage is still a passenger on A private jet, solely chartered for his business. Curiously enough, the little slice of the State Department Kerry is in charge of is having problems keeping track of all of those records.

…Mr. Kerry’s roughly 45-member office has long departed from government transparency norms by rebuffing public records requests for basic information about his work schedule, budget and personnel. He suggested they could speed up such requests, which his office previously said would take years to produce, with more government funding. Mr. Kerry’s budget last year was nearly $17 million, per the State Department.

Mr. Kerry’s office has also failed to keep track of the carbon emissions produced by his frequent travel, as required by law. He described it as an unfortunate failure that he hopes gets corrected soon.

For a faux-existential crisis Kerry needs the public to fall for while constantly berating their skeptical denseness, maybe transparency vice hypocrisy would be a winning strategy.

Finally, when he made it to China, Kerry stepped in it big-time during one particularly embarrassing suck-up effort.

U.S. special climate envoy John F. Kerry praised China’s “incredible job” expanding renewable energy sources Monday, while urging the world’s largest greenhouse gas emitter to stop building coal-fired power plants.https://t.co/CxAYerCQiQ

— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) July 17, 2023

Whilst effusively slobbering all over his hosts for their “incredible job” with renewables, he forgot all about how that “incredible-ness” he was so impressed with came to be in the first place.

Special Presidential Envoy for Climate John Kerry heaped praise upon the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) green energy initiatives Monday, failing to acknowledge allegations that the CCP utilizes slave labor in production of certain green energy technologies, according to The Washington Post.

Kerry said that the CCP is doing an “incredible job” with its green energy initiatives, including solar panel manufacturing, during his visit to Beijing, according to The Washington Post. Beyond allegations of Uyghur slave labor use in solar panel manufacturing, the CCP uses child labor in mines essential to the green energy supply chain and oversees an economy which emitted almost twice as much carbon dioxide as the U.S. in 2021, according to Investopedia data.

Beyond allegations of using Uyghur slave labor, the CCP also is known to extract key minerals used to produce green technologies from mines in countries like the Democratic Republic the of Congo that use child labor. Republican Rep. Chris Smith of New Jersey introduced legislation in late June that would stem the importation of products that use minerals extracted from Congolese mines using child labor and counter Chinese dominance of the global supply for the minerals.

Peasants, slaves, whatever. We’ve no time for them and they are resource intensive. THE PLANET IS DYING

The Chinese weren’t in any mood for a Kerry lecture, either, no matter how much bowing and scraping he d…oh, wait. That was the little gnome person the other week. Kerry just memorized a buttload of Chinese officials’ names.

China said Monday that its economy nearly stalled to a 0.8% growth rate in the second quarter, but never fear, John Kerry is here. The U.S. climate envoy is in Beijing this week to tell Chinese officials that they need to follow America in putting their economy further at risk by moving away from fossil fuels at a rapid pace.

Xi Jinping basically said, “Nice of you to visit, shame you can’t stay.”

China’s path to reducing carbon emissions should be determined by China and not controlled by anyone else, President Xi Jinping told dozens of officials, at the same time as US climate envoy John Kerry is in Beijing seeking consensus on global warming.

Xi was speaking at a two-day national conference on ecological and environmental protection that started on Monday, Chinese state broadcaster CCTV reported on Tuesday night.

“China’s commitments are unswerving, but the path towards the goals as well as the manner, pace and intensity of efforts to achieve them should and must be determined by the country itself, rather than swayed by others,” he said.

And fired up a couple more coal plants.

China builds two new coal-fired plants every week according to energy studies. https://t.co/u8nU3Z2xc7

— Theresa Fallon (@TheresaAFallon) July 18, 2023

All of which left Kerry pretty much sputtering about “I never said I was the boss of him, BUT THE SCIENCE™!”

All those names he memorized came in handy.

Q: Xi Jinping says China will not be held "under the sway of others" on climate. Was that pushback to your message?

JOHN KERRY in China: "There was zero dictation … If anything is dictating, it is the SCIENCE!" pic.twitter.com/tCnD8KnUmM

— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) July 19, 2023

Holy smokes – just so embarrassing.

Why is everything an ineffectual Cringe Level 9 with this bunch?