AOC Solves Immigration Crisis

Democratic National Convention via AP

Some ideas are so obvious that it takes a genius like AOC to blurt them out. Once these genius ideas are on the table, everybody can agree that the solution was obvious from the beginning.

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“Why didn’t I think of that?!” we all wonder.

AOC dropped a bit of wisdom on The Daily Show (which proudly uses the logo “TDS”) that fits this mold.

Do you think that there are too many illegal immigrants entering the country? Easy solution: make them legal immigrants, and the problem is solved.

Why didn’t I think of that? See, genius.

I’m not sure whether Mayor Eric Adams has latched onto this genius plan yet, which would redefine the billions of dollars he is spending on housing and feeding illegal immigrants into billions of dollars he is spending to house and feed legal immigrants, but once he catches on, he will see it as a great idea.

Brandon Johnson, too, will quiet his objections to the massive flow of illegal immigrants to his “sanctuary city” once he realizes that they no longer are illegal.

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AOC’s idea would solve our problem with the massive inflow of illegal immigrants into the US during the Biden Administration. However, it still has one flaw: AOC hasn’t yet proposed short-circuiting the process for granting citizenship to illegal migrants, or for that matter, the entire population of the world.

If we simply change the definition of “citizen,” we could start rescuing our citizens around the globe through massive military airlifts. No more need for that messy process of travel through Mexico using US-funded UN Refugee camps and care packages as the illegal migrants traipse through Mexico.

We could just use C-17s to pick up anybody who wants to come here. No more border crisis at all, although our airports and military bases would get a bit crowded as a few billion people pack up their belongings and come to their new homes.

Imagine the job creation! We could create a federally-funded homebuilding industry to provide free homes for our new citizens. We could massively expand our healthcare system, although it might take decades to build up enough capacity to treat all the new tropical diseases we will import.

And think of the new government bureaucrats we could hire to provide social services to these new Americans! Those are middle-class jobs. Biden has already been juicing his employment numbers through massive deficit-funded government hires, and he could hire millions more bureaucrats to cater to the whims of our new citizens.

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Then, of course, “democracy” would be saved by the importation of billions of new Democrat voters, and even those who decide to stay in their current country could, as US Citizens, vote in our elections.

More people voting! What could be better? Just mail out ballots around the world, create a vote-harvesting bureaucracy in every corner of the world, and voíla! Democracy is saved.

AOC is brilliant, but even this plan to give documents to the undocumented in the US isn’t ambitious enough. It still assumes that we retain a border–and with it the possibility of more illegal immigrants entering before we can hand out US visas like toilet paper. If we make everybody in the world a citizen we would have no immigration at all.

Everybody welcome!

Mayor Adams must be so proud of his Congresswoman. I know I am.

I so want to date her!

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