This is a cheerful one for your evening nightcap.
Even though it is about a helicopter crash, all's well that ends well, which hasn't happened a lot lately.
Most importantly, it didn't happen in the United States, which is one less thing our Transportation Secretary has to worry about.
Now for the story as the crash investigation just wrapped up.
Back in mid-January, a South African R44 helicopter, a popular four-seat, pretty versatile bird...
...The R44 has been the world's best-selling general aviation (GA) helicopter every year since 1999. It is one of the most-produced GA aircraft of the 21st century, with 5,941 deliveries from 2001 to 2020.
...had three passengers onboard and flown out to something called Bird Island, a nature reserve off the Eastern Cape of South Africa, for a specialist to do an aerial survey.
When the aerial work was done, the pilot set the helo down on the island, and that's when things began to go awry. It started innocently enough, as it always does.
The specialist came back to the helicopter with a request - would the pilot mind carrying another passenger back with them?
It was a penguin.
Awww...who can resist a penguin, right?
...According to the South African Civil Aviation Authority inquiry, the pilot agreed to the request and the penguin was placed in a cardboard box.
So they all loaded back up to leave, with the penguin-in-a-box (they really ought to sell those - they'd make a fortune) safe on the lap of a passenger in the other front seat.
Well, it was supposed to be safe, but the passenger was also supposed to hold onto the penguin-in-a-box.
OOPS
Penguin risk assessment procedures were not followed, but I'll bet you good money they will be from now on.
...The aviation authority said the pilot conducted a "risk assessment" but omitted to include the transport of the penguin on board which "was not in accordance with the Civil Aviation Regulations (CAR) 2011".
When the helicopter was about 15m (50 feet) above ground, the cardboard box slid off the lap of the specialist to the right and caused the cyclic pitch control lever to move to the far-right position causing the aircraft roll, the report determined.
Unable to recover, the main rotor blades then struck the ground and the helicopter ultimately crashed on its starboard side approximately 20m from the point of lift-off.
While the helicopter sustained substantial damage, both the pilot and passengers were uninjured and the penguin was unharmed.
The penguin might be 'unharmed,' but he looks guilty as sin.
Incredible. pic.twitter.com/NtLHoAAywB
— Οὖτις (@Belugamesh) April 14, 2025
The accident investigation has been released and led to unintentionally hilarious headlines.
Unsecured penguin caused helicopter crash in South Africa
South African R44 crashed during lift-off after unsecured penguin fell on controls
Penguin in passenger seat causes helicopter crash in South Africa
All while dissing the poor penguin instead of the moo-ron who didn't hold the frickin' box.
There could be a practical explanation for the mishap.
As people in the comments on the story point out, penguins would generally be averse to air travel in any event.
The conclusion of the thorough investigation was also dryly ironic - that a penguin-in-a-box was not 'suitable for the flight conditions.'
...It also said that a proper evaluation of the situation and potential hazards (such as cargo shifting) should have been conducted.
"The absence of a proper, secured crate meant that the penguin's containment was not suitable for the flight conditions," it said.
Darwin could have told them that if they'd thought about it.
If you have unsecured penguins in a helo, chances are you're going to flip the bird.
I'll be here all week.
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