I keep hearing Tommy Lee Jones’s voice: “Your fugitive’s name is Ghislaine Maxwell.”

We must find this degenerate, wherever she may be hiding globally, and bring her to justice. In the meantime, after reading this Vanity Fair piece I’m revising my theory about that mysterious temple on Epstein’s Pedophile Island. Old theory: The temple is a satanic playground where Epstein and his jetset cohorts would do unspeakable things to children as part of some ritual sacrifice to Zozo or whoever.

New theory: The temple is actually a massive surveillance hub where Epstein would review and store all of the blackmail footage he’d recorded of his guests on the island.

And also a satanic playground where he and his pals would do unspeakable things to children as part of some ritual sacrifice to Zozo or whoever.

On the weekends in the 1990s, Maxwell would have her Rollerblades FedExed to Epstein’s island in the Caribbean, and said she got her helicopter’s license so she could transport anyone she liked without pilots knowing who they were. Maxwell also said the island had been completely wired for video; the friend thought that she and Epstein were videotaping everyone on the island as an insurance policy, as blackmail. A source close to Maxwell says she spoke glibly and confidently about getting girls to sexually service Epstein, saying this was simply what he wanted, and describing the way she’d drive around to spas and trailer parks in Florida to recruit them. She would claim she had a phone job for them, “and you’ll make lots of money, meet everyone, and I’ll change your life.” The source continues, “Ghislaine was in love with Jeffrey the way she was in love with her father. She always thought if she just did one more thing for him, to please him, he would marry her.”

Maxwell had one other thing to tell this woman: “When I asked what she thought of the underage girls, she looked at me and said, ‘they’re nothing, these girls. They are trash.’”

Maybe the temple was a “guest house” to which Epstein would direct his visitors and their underaged “companions” so that they could have some alleged privacy, little knowing that the entire structure is wired for extortion reasons. I wonder if any of Epstein’s friends/clients knew that he was amassing blackmail material on them and nonetheless continued associating with him after they found out. Why not, if he already had evidence stashed away that could ruin their lives and send them to prison? Under those circumstances, they were better off staying on his good side by continuing to cultivate his friendship and enjoy his … services.

We’re still waiting on a verdict from New York’s medical examiner on Epstein’s death but the Times reported yesterday that she’s “confident” it was indeed suicide by hanging. Sources told the New York Post that Epstein did it with a bedsheet tied to the top bunk in his cell, with the prisoner kneeling in order to strangle himself. CBS reported this morning that “shouting and shrieking” was heard in Epstein’s cell but the story implies that it was coming from the guards when they found him, not from Epstein himself — although we should probably put the term “guards” in quotation marks in this case:

No correctional officer had checked on Mr. Epstein for several hours before he was found, even though guards were supposed to look in on prisoners in the protective unit where he was housed every half-hour, a prison official and two law-enforcement officials with knowledge of the detention said, speaking on the condition of anonymity.

In addition, only one of the two people guarding the Special Housing Unit — known as 9 South — normally worked as a correctional officer, according to three prison officials with knowledge of the case. The officials did not say what sort of job the other employee usually worked.

MCC is so understaffed that support workers like nurses and secretaries are often given cursory training as guards and subbed in when a fully trained guard is absent. In any case, the inmate who used to share Epstein’s cell and reportedly found him after his previous suicide attempt was a few cells away during his successful attempt this weekend and allegedly heard nothing. “It was a silent act,” per his lawyer.

The lack of fully trained guards in Epstein’s wing of the prison isn’t the only professional lapse associated with his death. About an hour ago, BuzzFeed noted that Epstein’s death was reported on 4chan more than a half hour before it was publicly known:

“[D]ont ask me how I know, but Epstein died an hour ago from hanging, cardiac arrest. Screencap this,” read the post, which was published at 8:16 AM alongside an image of Pepe, the green frog that has become a mascot for the right-wing internet trolls.

That post was 38 minutes before the first tweet about Epstein’s death was from Aaron Katersky, an ABC News reporter, at 8:54 AM. Five minutes later, the main ABC News account tweeted an article about Epstein’s death.

After publishing the post, other 4chan users egged on the author. When they said they didn’t believe that the information was true, the original poster added more information to the discussion thread, including a detailed breakdown of the procedures allegedly used to resuscitate Epstein, which suggest the poster may have been a first responder, medical worker, or otherwise privy to details about efforts to resuscitate the disgraced financier.

Only two possibilities. One: Someone at MCC or an EMT who was called to the scene of Epstein’s death is posting at 4chan.

Two: Hillary is posting at 4chan.

As your exit question, here’s Trump just doing what Trump does.

REPORTER: Do you really think the Clintons are involved in Epstein’s death?

TRUMP: “I have no idea. I know he was on his plane 27 times…the question you have to ask is, did Bill Clinton go to the island?…I was never there…if you find that out, you’re going to know a lot.” pic.twitter.com/2okvjaFv2w

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 13, 2019