Child molester reveals: I was sexually assaulted by Bigfoot

Somewhere along the way tonight we segued from politics and terrorism to the psychological consequences of being raped by animals. I go where the news cycle takes me, my friends.

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To think, if only he’d been assaulted by a wombat instead, he’d be speaking “Australian” and those poor kids might have been left alone.

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David Strom 4:40 PM | April 29, 2025
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