Well, hello there, Irony. How are ya?

The European Union is very proud of its environmental record, as we all know. In fact, they’re the masters of cutting off their green noses to spite their cold faces. In a rich display of environmental hypocrisy, the powers in Brussels touted a new law they’d enacted at the beginning of the month.

The European Union has agreed a new law that would ban the import of products linked to deforestation.

Household goods such as coffee, chocolate, and some furniture will have to pass strict checks to ensure forests weren’t damaged to create them.

Sounds GREAT, right? Always be conscious of what your consumer habits are doing to the environment of other countries. Your filthy Western Colonizer addictions are not improving Third World countries nor pulling people out of poverty – your mocha grande is actually destroying that country. For that audacity, we must punish the producers and purveyors of the goods. Feed that green guilt monster about the pleasures you enjoy as an advanced culture without actually, you know, disrupting the flow of said pleasures.

Nice, huh?

…The rules cover palm oil, cattle, soy, coffee, cocoa, timber and rubber that is imported into the EU.

They also cover anything derived from these products, such as beef, the European Commission said in a press release.

Pascal Canfin, the chairman of the European Parliament’s environment committee, said: “It’s the coffee we have for breakfast, the chocolate we eat, the coal in our barbecues, the paper in our books.”

Companies selling their products into the EU will have to prove their goods are not linked to deforestation, or face fines of up to four percent of their annual EU turnover.

Saving the world from itself one coffee and cow fart at a time.

The law hasn’t been ratified yet – as it must be, by all the member states – but it already has its cheerleaders. Greenpeace is, for the most part, thrilled.

🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨

The EU has agreed a new law to stop companies selling products from deforestation

A major breakthrough for forests and people standing up to protect them – but Indigenous People's rights and other nature still at risk#Together4Forestshttps://t.co/zGbYRusYmU

— Greenpeace EU (@GreenpeaceEU) December 6, 2022

Lucky thing the EU commissioners were looking at protecting forests far afield because their own green zones in Europe are getting kind of sparse thanks to…well, the EU commissioners.

The hills are alive with the sound of chainsaws.

VIDEO: 🇬🇷 Greek woodcutters give energy crisis the chop

With petrol and gas bills increasing, loggers in northern Greece say they are doing their best to keep up with rising demand for wood, considered a more affordable option for people to heat their homes pic.twitter.com/LS7VRsQFBx

— AFP News Agency (@AFP) December 27, 2022

Germany already had 11M wood-burning stoves, and folks were changing over in droves this fall, as EU energy prices skyrocketed and actual power availability/reliability tanked.

Energy crisis: Germany sees rising trend in wood burning stoves to save on gas

After more than 30 years in their house in the suburbs of Munich, a retired couple has decided to install a wood-burning stove, motivated by the fear of gas shortages and rising gas prices.

Before the energy crisis, the Möller family paid around 800 euros a year for gas.

This year, despite their brand-new heating system, their consumption is estimated to be close to 2,300 euros.

…Although wood is cheaper than gas or electricity, prices still have doubled for it. But the retired couple’s son has a small forest where they can get wood for free.

Our son Ebola has been using his wood-burning stove regularly, having made sure he had a cord of seasoned firewood safely stacked in his garage by November. He’s not even sure he can get any more now, the demand has gotten so intense (He’s literally doing the math on logs per evening = livable BTUs.).

Could get a lot worse, too, if Russia’s not bluffing.

Who calls whose bluff first?

I’ll bet the EU folds first. As I said above, they just thrive on cutting their green noses off to spite their frozen faces:

The EU has approved a €28 billion German renewable energy scheme.

The policy is aimed at rapidly expanding use of wind and solar power. It is designed to deliver Germany’s target to produce 80 per cent of its electricity from renewable sources by 2030. Replacing an existing renewables support scheme, it runs until 2026.

The European Commission says the scheme is “necessary and appropriate” to promote renewable energy and cut planet-heating emissions, and that its positive environmental impact will outweigh possible distortions of competition.

“The German Renewable Energy Act 2023 scheme will contribute to further decarbonise electricity production,” EU competition policy chief Margrethe Vestager said in a statement.

Seriously? “RAPIDLY EXPAND…WIND AND SOLAR“?! The very things that have gotten you into this frozen disaster?

The EU is continuing to let the Germans lead the way into a complete and utter breakdown of the entire continent’s grid.

They’ve all lost their minds and “scheme” would be the correct word. Cowfarts, indeed.

They can’t see their own forests when there are no trees.