The HA news priority totem pole looks like this: Politics at the top, then terrorism, then robots, then “The View,” then tabloid cryptozoology, and finally, of course, UFO sightings. Although given the action in this area lately, I’m thinking it might be time to reorder.

Here’s the photo. No word on the cause of death but I trust we’re all on the same page: Chupacabra.

Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, who run Bigfoot expeditions, claim they made the astonishing discovery in the woods of north Georgia, in the southeast of the US.

The pair and “the real Bigfoot Hunter” Tom Biscardi, who has endorsed the find, plan to front a press conference in California, presenting DNA and photographic “proof.”…

“We trekked for a day a half … what kind of lunatic would be out here in a monkey suit? I saw the thing, I touched it,” said Mr Biscardi, who has been searching for Bigfoots since 1971.

The hunters say several Bigfoots were spotted walking around close to where they found the body but refuse to reveal the location in a bid “to protect the creatures”.

The press conference is tomorrow, thereby guaranteeing two glorious days of this heaven-sent filler content. Their website’s down but you can see a cached version (sans pics) here; the ‘Squatch is allegedly 7’7 and weighs more than 500 lbs., so I know you’re as curious as I am to hear how two guys managed to hoist him into a cooler and cart him away. Thus far, Whitton and Dyer have refused to let anyone see the body except for another bigfoot hunter who’s been involved in hoaxes before — but lest you doubt them, check out this surveillance footage from the expedition that’s, er, leaked out onto YouTube. Exit question: In light of “Rickmat’s” condition, can we officially pronounce this case closed?

Update: There’s a closer shot of the head here. The guy who sent it thinks it’s a bear. With mange.