Child molester reveals: I was sexually assaulted by Bigfoot
posted at 10:21 pm on March 27, 2008 by Allahpundit
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Somewhere along the way tonight we segued from politics and terrorism to the psychological consequences of being raped by animals. I go where the news cycle takes me, my friends.
To think, if only he’d been assaulted by a wombat instead, he’d be speaking “Australian” and those poor kids might have been left alone.
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Put him in prison, he will get raped some more.
Chakra Hammer on March 27, 2008 at 10:24 PM
One man is raped by a wombat, the other by Bigfoot.
Did I mention I was buggered by chupacabra?
MadisonConservative on March 27, 2008 at 10:24 PM
Please. Think of the animals.
Roebuck on March 27, 2008 at 10:24 PM
You know what they say, “Big feet, big…..”
ej_pez on March 27, 2008 at 10:24 PM
Useless trivia: Those “Bigfoot” photos were taken in the 1960’s by a fellow named Ivan Marx
GogglesPisano on March 27, 2008 at 10:25 PM
No one was pulling the steering wheel in this direction.
Hog Wild on March 27, 2008 at 10:30 PM
I can see this election has really gotten to you, AP.
terryannonline on March 27, 2008 at 10:30 PM
Hey, who hasn’t been sexually assaulted by Bigfoot?
its vintage duh on March 27, 2008 at 10:31 PM
Your wife’s a Bigfoot, isn’t she, Gus? Your wife is a Bigfoot, isn’t she?
Asher on March 27, 2008 at 10:31 PM
I understand covering the story, Allah, but why use Howard Dean’s headshot as the frontpage image?
amerpundit on March 27, 2008 at 10:31 PM
Oh, wait…..nevermind.
amerpundit on March 27, 2008 at 10:32 PM
He was asking for it. Dressed like slutty gorilla if not a bonobo, and you know about those bonobos.
Beagle on March 27, 2008 at 10:37 PM
I don’t know, but she can climb the f**k out of a tree.
R D on March 27, 2008 at 10:41 PM
He is, of course, refering to BigFoot over in cell block 8.
shaken on March 27, 2008 at 10:45 PM
Oh MadisonC, I’m so glad you’re commenting more, of late. Missed you,
Entelechy on March 27, 2008 at 10:49 PM
And here I thought this was a porn promo
From vivid “In the Words” with Richard Bigfoot and Heidi Harry
William Amos on March 27, 2008 at 10:58 PM
Should have been woods not words becase dont tell me words dont have meaning
William Amos on March 27, 2008 at 10:59 PM
Glad to see you, too. However, I might get kicked out for doing…oh…this:
MadisonConservative on March 27, 2008 at 11:01 PM
Child molester was assaulted by Bigfoot,
too bad Bigfoot didn’t use an axe!
canopfor on March 27, 2008 at 11:08 PM
I thought Harry was an alien, not Bigfoot. No?
VolMagic on March 27, 2008 at 11:10 PM
MadisonC, behave yourself – we need you here – you’re the one I called “polite” so often, for good reasons. Watch the other streak :)
Entelechy on March 27, 2008 at 11:11 PM
I don’t know…
MadisonConservative on March 27,2008 at 11:01PM.
MadisonConservative: I noticed you had a rough day on the
Chalsea thread,so I’m kidding here,
but you better watch your P and F’s!
Haha.
canopfor on March 27, 2008 at 11:12 PM
Oh,and I also Agree with Entelechy!
canopfor on March 27, 2008 at 11:15 PM
What about Z’s and X’s? Those are more fun!
MadisonConservative on March 27, 2008 at 11:19 PM
I know a guy that was corn-holed by Chupracabra… Ok, it was a guy wearing a Chupracabra mask and it was consensual but it was very similar.
Seriously, I think if this guys is guilty he needs to be given a big hairy “flat-mate” named Bubba.
Claypigeon on March 27, 2008 at 11:19 PM
He should count himself lucky. I shudder to think what the Loch Ness monster would have done to him.
emailnuevo on March 27, 2008 at 11:19 PM
Wombats, sasquatch, and now chupacabras. Run for your life collie! I can’t protect you from the HA participants any longer.
My collie says:
And today, your prophecy has been fulfilled.
CyberCipher on March 27, 2008 at 11:20 PM
Whew finally the left moves on.
It is no longer “Bush did it!!” now it is “Bigfoot did it!!”
What a great leap forward, progressive.
allrsn on March 27, 2008 at 11:21 PM
Chortle with glee.
Bob's Kid on March 27, 2008 at 11:27 PM
Based on canopfor on March 27, 2008 at 11:12 PM, I went and peeked at the thread – Jim Treacher is a riot/jewel – and so are you MadisonC. However, don’t fight turkeys. You are so much more superior. We can leave it at this, and move on, as usual,
Entelechy on March 27, 2008 at 11:30 PM
What about Z’s and X’s.There much more fun!
MadisonConservative on March 27,2008 at 11:19PM.
MadisonConservative: Yup,haha,hey is z pronounced
Zed or Zee!
canopfor on March 27, 2008 at 11:36 PM
emailnuevo
Global warming kilt the Loch Nesse giant snail darter.
BL@KBIRD on March 27, 2008 at 11:41 PM
Well when all my company does is go gobble gobble, hard to keep a good mood. I’m used to it being easy with you folk. ;)
ZEEDEEZEEDEEZEEDEE…
Aw nuts. Now that damned chupacabra has me speaking Swahili. Who can I sue?
MadisonConservative on March 27, 2008 at 11:49 PM
But that was in the last few years, like the polar bear – so someone in Scotland could have, decades ago, been awakened by a very strange feeling.
emailnuevo on March 27, 2008 at 11:50 PM
ZEEDEEZEEDEEZEE
Aw nuts.
MadisonConservative on March 27,2008 at 11:49PM.
MadisonConservative: Zee or Zed,ZEEDEEZEEDEE,haha
close enough!
canopfor on March 28, 2008 at 12:05 AM
Well………… here’s to wishing Big Foot gave him an aggresive out break of genital warts on his rectum….
More pleasure for the homies whilst he loosens up over the next twenty years on the Love Boat he won’t be able to leave….
Esperanza Gloriosa works in mysterious ways…….
Seven Percent Solution on March 28, 2008 at 12:49 AM
America is being raped by Manbearpig.
loganthompson on March 28, 2008 at 1:28 AM
I am sure that defense attorney manufactured that story as a ruse to make the defendant sound retarded. What else do you expect from a $450 an hour attorney?
leftnomore on March 28, 2008 at 1:39 AM
scumbag
Kaptain Amerika on March 28, 2008 at 2:11 AM
Well at least you stay up late, Allah. So nobody can imply you’ve been going to bed with the chickens.
Dr. Charles G. Waugh on March 28, 2008 at 2:44 AM
OMG….lol
becki51758 on March 28, 2008 at 5:55 AM
I’ll let someone else post that quote from CLOSE ENCOUNTERS…as it will no doubt be “fixed” if I post it.
splink on March 28, 2008 at 6:49 AM
Won’t be long before the ACLU fights for this guy’s right to live next door to an elementary school…thats what they are doing in New Hampshire.
Jay on March 28, 2008 at 7:09 AM
…shoes?
James on March 28, 2008 at 7:46 AM
Abominable.
Dork B. on March 28, 2008 at 8:14 AM
I once met a mermaid and well, you know . . . deep fried her, she was delicious.
srhoades on March 28, 2008 at 8:17 AM
Using ME as an excuse. How pitiful.
Bigfoot on March 28, 2008 at 8:31 AM
Well, if you would just learn to keep it in your fur, we wouldn’t have this problem, would we?
James on March 28, 2008 at 8:47 AM
Well, slap my ass and call me “Tina”. That’s, um………WTF?
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on March 28, 2008 at 8:48 AM
Big-foot says, (wagging finger,) “Now, I want you to listen to me…I did not have sexual relations with that……”
So, there you go.
franksalterego on March 28, 2008 at 9:02 AM
sometimes when my wife doesn’t shave for a while, i feel like i’ve been raped by bigfoot.
lorien1973 on March 28, 2008 at 11:29 AM
…and the smile on your face afterwards couldn’t be bigger…
MadisonConservative on March 28, 2008 at 11:46 AM
“I take it very seriously because I know he has some issues.”
Huh?
OneGyT on March 28, 2008 at 1:43 PM
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