Two things happened yesterday that I've got some news to follow up on, now.
The good citizens of Makerfield went to the polls in a quite important by-election for their replacement Member of Parliament (MP), which might shortly decide the fate of the sitting and hugely unpopular Prime Minister.
And the country was shocked to its core when word came that a deranged, homicidal 30-year-old 'man from Norfolk' had thrown a random three-year-old boy from an observation balcony at a local zoo in Cambridgeshire into a pit filled with crocodiles fifteen feet below.
As a heartbroken and horrified GBNews anchor mourned when reading the breaking news,
What on EARTH is going on IN THIS COUNTRY?
'What,' indeed.
Let's start in Makerfield, where last night Andy Burnham, the mayor of Greater Manchester and aspirant to the prime minister's job, first had to win himself an MP seat in order to effect his planned coup d'etat. [Beege correction and thank you comments] Burnham had given up his previous MP seat to run for Greater Manchester mayor in 2017 or so. A fellow named Simon obligingly vacated his seat as Makerfield's MP, and Burnham was off to the campaign races in that working-class area which has been a Labour stronghold for nearly a century.
It turned out to be probably the most prudent choice of venue, because even though Burnham has nothing to do with Makerfield, Labour loyalty could be counted on. The Reform candidate had some spicy old social media issues of his own to battle, and the Restore Party candidate was mounting a challenge, bolstered by leader Rupert Lowe's release of the Rape Gang Inquiry Report.
Burham carried the day.
🚨 BREAKING: Andy Burnham has won the Makerfield by-election
— Politics UK (@PolitlcsUK) June 19, 2026
🔴 LAB: 24,937 (+6,725) - 54.8%
➡️ REF: 15,696 (+2,893) - 34.5%
🟣 RES: 3,111 (NEW) - 6.8%
🔵 CON: 997 (-3,382) - 2.2%
🟢 GRN: 308 (-1,468) - 0.7%
🔶 LD: 163 (-2,572) - 0.4%
Changes w/ 2024
58.75% turnout
But there are warning signs in the numbers for a wounded Labour Party, already under siege across the country. Remember, part of the reason Burnham chose this district to challenge for an MP seat is the tradition of Labour support there, but, as I noted earlier in the week, this is also an area signalling 65% support for Brexit, ten years after the fact. It's also a district that had a massive Reform surge in the local Wigan Council elections of 7 May.
Traditional British media is playing up the 9000-vote difference between Burnham and Reform candidate Rob Kenyon as a resounding win, but leaving the gains of both populist parties - Reform and Restore - who combined accounted for 40% of the total, unremarked upon. The insurgent populists are a force to be reckoned with, even when they step on themselves.
...Well, there’s no doubt after last night that Burnham is a genuinely popular man, and we all underestimated that.
Rob Kenyon, the Reform candidate, is a good lad but with little local name recognition he was able to be framed by some of his off-colour, historical social media posts. A lesson for us all, perhaps.
But the biggest takeaway I found here on the ground was talking to people who just wanted the highest octane way to GET STARMER OUT. Which ironically was Reform’s message at the local elections just last month. It turns out they now see that highest octane vehicle as Andy Burnham.
Indeed, as Nigel said in a video this morning, Reform was sort of hoist with its own petard.
But there’s some really cool takeaways from last night too. The fact that a low name ID candidate like Kenyon can spring a machine up to get 16,000 votes (up almost 3k from the general) is a testament to how effective the Reform campaign machine now is. I actually got a little tour of the systems recently. It’s really impressive.
As Raheem Kassam notes in the rest of his Xweet, it's astonishing that there are 'swathes of Britain still amenable to Labour.' To me, it seems self-defeating to so despise Keir Starmer that a British voter, in their desperation to be rid of him, would actively cast a vote to replace him with someone demonstrably worse. That's the case here. If Burnham turns out to win the battle for primacy and follows what has been his natural inclination as a politician, rather than what he mouthed while currying favour during campaign appearances running for this seat, he will attempt to govern even further left than Starmer.
A Burnham vote would seem to have been acting in haste, rather than suck up the little time left before a general election, or ignoring the possibility that Starmer is forced by his weakness to call for an early election.
The thing I picked up from this election apart from voters wanting to get rid of Starmer is that Andy is a charming liar, who changes his mind with the wind. The people who voted for him need to know he will fulfil his promises to them via a manifesto 🧾📝
— Hilary MacDonald (@HilaryMacDnq) June 19, 2026
The crocodile smiled, and they fell for him.
"Work placements for all 16–18-year-olds"
— Jack (@FFS_WhatNow) June 19, 2026
Andy still hasn't learned it's not the government that creates wealth and jobs. Swapping Starmer for Burnham is like shitting your pants and changing your cap.
Burnham is also rumoured to be considering, should he manage to knock Starmer out of No. 10, to promote the ruinous master of Britain's NetZero madness, Ed Miliband, to Chancellor.
Strangely enough, people seem so sceptical...
So you think the Fabian Socialist who is replacing a Fabian Socialist is going to change course?
— Miguel Nunes (@NunesMigs) June 19, 2026
Jesus, we live in a strange world.
One thing is for certain: how wide the voters of Makerfield find Burnham's crocodile smile to be will be a revelation that all of the United Kingdom will either thank or curse them for.
It's too late to save anyone now.
Speaking of which, time to segue to real crocodiles, and that most heinous, inhuman act of cruelty yesterday.
Let me first give tremendous credit where credit is due. The only reason that the little man has a fighting chance is because the zoo owner's wife dove into the pit filled with crocodiles to save him.
Horrified witnesses left in tears after toddler 'thrown' into crocodile pit 'by mentally disabled man' and left critical after being rescued by zoo owner's wife https://t.co/wKjCPd5LxB
— Daily Mail (@DailyMail) June 19, 2026
Unbelievable.
...The boy had been looking at the reptiles when he was thrown around 15ft from an elevated viewing platform down into the Johnsons of Old Hurst tropical house near Huntingdon.
One expert believes he probably landed on a concrete surface and then rolled into the water.
The enclosure contains at least 15 crocodiles and alligators, including two of the largest - Nile crocodiles called Romeo and Cuddles. Both are believed to measure between 9ft and 11ft, with Romeo, the male, weighing up to 485lbs.
It is not yet known whether the boy sustained all his injuries from the fall or if he was also attacked by one of the animals - but an expert has confirmed that if the child fell next to a crocodile he will have been bitten.
...This morning a resident close to the zoo said: 'Tracey and the other staff were incredibly brave.
'They all stayed very calm and she went down into the enclosure and was able to rescue the little boy quickly before the crocodiles could harm him.
Heart of oak.
Tracey Johnson, the woman who jumped in to save him, give this woman a medal!! pic.twitter.com/q59Ut87kym
— JacqH (@HallJacque33709) June 19, 2026
We still have no idea who the 'Norfolk man' is, but we now have some idea of the issues he might have.
He is described as 'developmentally disabled,' and was out for a supervised day trip with his 'carer' and, oh, just got away for a moment.
This near-lethal act was the result.
In their infinite wisdom, authorities have released him on bail. Oh, yes.
He's back into the community, because he's 'not fit for interview.'
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD
Cambridge Police says the 3-year-old boy remains in Addenbrooke's Hospital in a critical but stable condition
— Politics UK (@PolitlcsUK) June 19, 2026
The arrested 30-year-old man, who is not known to the toddler, has been "assessed as not being fit for interview" and released on bail until September
This insane individual - don't hand me the 'developmentally disabled' BS at this level of malignancy - is not under direct supervision in public for a split second, and his first act is to try to murder a toddler?
What is wrong with the authorities in that country?
Exactly to whom do they think they owe safety and security?
Released on bail because he's 'unfit for interview'?
— Lobson (@olobojay) June 19, 2026
If he's mentally unstable enough that police can't question him after allegedly throwing a random 3-year-old into a crocodile enclosure, then he's clearly too dangerous to be walking the streets.
Why not remand him under the…
Why not remand him under the Mental Health Act and keep the public safe?
This is insane.
Needless to say, everyone jailed for mean Xweets or flying a Union Jack has questions.
WTAF? A man attempts to MURDER a toddler in a random attack, by throwing him into a crocodile enclosure and the police RELEASE the unhinged, dangerous psychopath ON BAIL until September, claiming he is "unfit to be interviewed"!
— JaimeJessop (@Janine511484078) June 19, 2026
But if you throw a couple of small stones in the…
...But if you throw a couple of small stones in the general direction of riot police at a protest against two tier policing, then you will be remanded in custody and sentenced within days to two years in prison!
Did I fall asleep one day and wake up in some nightmarish alternate reality?
No. In reality, it's a crocodile pit.
With smiling crocodiles everywhere you look, and you don't dare get off your rock, if you're lucky enough to have a tall enough one to keep your toes out of the water.
Sometimes, as in Makerfield last night, your neighbours don't help matters at all by voting for yet another reptile. In Cambridgeshire, the reptiles already in authority turn more predators loose in the water around you.
Our mother used to sing a weird little ditty to us as children growing up, and it holds true here.
Never smile,
At a crocodile,
Or you may spend a while,
In a crocodile.
It looks like it's going to be quite a while for Britain.
I would be delighted to be proven wrong.
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