I mean, if anyone's in a big rush to get out of the States because of the BAD ORANGE MAN, but finds themselves in a straitened circumstance. You know, the kind where you can't exactly afford the spread in the Cotswolds that Ellen and Portia bought, nor that ticket to Costa Rica so you can hide on cheap jungle hideaway time, like Tarzan or Jane, but with air-conditioning and a flush toilet.
If you've been sitting there, salivating at the Canadian border, wondering, 'If ONLY,' and looking over their rather stringent work restrictions and income requirements for new immigrants, do yourself a favor and get the cheapest online genealogy membership you can.
It just might hold the key to your Golden Maple Leaf Ticket out of the States if you've a Canadian granny or grampie somewhere back in the mists of your ancestral line.
All it takes is one.
Potentially millions of Americans suddenly have a much easier path to Canadian citizenship, prompting a rush of people to explore their ancestry and file paperwork seeking dual citizenship.
For people like Zack Loud of Farmington, Minnesota, it was a surprise to learn that under a new law, Canada already considered him and his siblings citizens because their grandmother is Canadian.
“My wife and I were already talking about potentially looking at jobs outside the country, but citizenship pushed Canada way up on our list,” he said.
Since the new law took effect Dec. 15, immigration lawyers in the United States and Canada say they have been overwhelmed by clients seeking help submitting proof of citizenship applications. Driven by politics, family heritage, job opportunities and other factors, thousands of Americans are exploring whether the easier process makes now the right time to gain dual citizenship.
And it's cheap to get turned into an adopted Syrupean - a mere fifty-five bucks ($75 Canadian) to jettison life in the bad old US of A.
...Previously, Canadian citizenship by descent could only be passed down to one generation, from a parent to a child. That changed when Canadian bill C-3 took effect Dec. 15, and opened up citizenship to anyone born before that date who could prove they have a direct Canadian ancestor — a grandparent, great-grandparent or even more distant ancestor.
Those born on or after Dec. 15 need to show their parent met a residency requirement of 1,095 days.
Under the new law, descendants of Canadians already are considered citizens, but they must provide proof to obtain a certificate of citizenship. Hayer estimated that there are millions of Americans who are Canadian descendants.
...For those with documentation ready at hand, the proof of citizenship application fee is a relatively inexpensive 75 Canadian dollars ($55).
But costs will climb for those seeking help from an attorney or genealogist.
Cunha said she used an attorney and estimates the cost will be about $6,500.
However, Mary Mangan, of Somerville, Massachusetts, filed her application in January using advice from online forums.
“There are some situations where a lawyer might be the right thing, but for many people, I would guess 90% of people can probably do this on their own,” Mangan said.
Go on, you cranky, miserable, whiny misfits - go for it!
GET OUTTA HERE
You should fit right in with most of all the others in that happy, woke af, frozen, collectively minded socialist Utopia (leave Alberta out of your plans).
But since I don't want you winding up like Ellen and Portia, who stormed off to the UK in the biggest stompy-foot, TDS-splash ever...
Ellen DeGeneres, actress wife Portia de Rossi, move to UK, 'never coming back' to the UShttps://t.co/BgPX1NcdqT
— The Post Millennial (@TPostMillennial) November 23, 2024
...only to come 'crawling back' to California less than two years later, do your research well and heed what you learn.
Ellen DeGeneres and wife Portia de Rossi have quietly removed their $30million U.K. mansion from the market after their move back to the States.
— Radar Online (@radar_online) January 28, 2026
More details at the link below. (📸: MEGA) https://t.co/oZMwtvyuvC pic.twitter.com/9bWiRFhFf9
It's boring on a farm, you know. And they sometimes flood.
But one should always plan before one jets off to new places, which can be very different than the brochures and the hype.
For one thing, the Syrupean economy isn't quite as crackin' as they make out, so have some money set aside. If you would never in your life consider a move to Mississippi, which is humming along right now, you should really do your homework on Canada first.
This chart makes me laugh every time I see it.
— Michael A. Arouet (@MichaelAArouet) April 10, 2026
The UK, France and Italy are poorer than the poorest US state, Mississippi. Canada and Germany are poorer than the second-poorest US state.
The gap will widen. And don’t come with “free healthcare.” You pay for it with absurd taxes pic.twitter.com/IgDdXufqpO
Have some sort of income stream - don't count on being able to find one wherever you land in the country.
🚨 BREAKING
— Market Mania 🏴☠️ (@MarketManiaCa) April 10, 2026
Canada Q1: 95k jobs lost. Worst since 2009 (ex-COVID). The "soft landing" is dead. The labor market is cracking in real-time. 🇨🇦
Employment is tricksy.
We’ve got jobs in Canada, but they’re taken away by the 2 million foreign workers & international students in the country driving up rent & causing societal issues too
— Ace 🧬 🇺🇸🇨🇦🇬🇧🏴🇸🇪🇳🇱🇳🇴🇮🇹 (@RyanWarIsGood) April 21, 2026
Most foreign workers fall under the IMP international mobility program
Temporary must mean temporary, they… pic.twitter.com/dKj1YhBsTj
And, as the old song said, the rents are too damn high.
Rent near uni was straight-up insane…
— irene🌻 (@Strictlyirene) April 23, 2026
So this Canadian student started commuting to class a whole different way, twice a week.
The monthly cost comparison? Cannot compete pic.twitter.com/SbJJyIYKuv
Maybe scratch New Brunswick off your list of possible homesites, too, unless you choose to go primitive or are independently wealthy.
Canada’s energy policy verges on insanity: New Brunswick is importing liquefied natural gas from as far away as Australia while refusing to develop its own substantial shale gas reserves, even though the province desperately needs investment and jobs and already sits near the… https://t.co/7AbNCA4qjP
— James E. Thorne (@DrJStrategy) February 25, 2026
...even though the province desperately needs investment and jobs and already sits near the bottom of North America in standard of living.
If you're a big fan of DEI, woke culture, and land acknowledgment and want to grovel in perpetual guilt over white privilege, you'll do great.
And if you can't handle it, the Canadian government will cheerfully unalive your white butt for free.
1. Canada Research Chairs equity targets: https://t.co/crGywmu7Nu…
— Bruce (@bruce_barrett) April 9, 2026
2. Quebec tribunal QuébecOiseaux case: https://t.co/VfcXFn4Zjp…
3. CBC kids show casting: https://t.co/F2KFV8Ef1T…
4. Black Entrepreneurship Loan Fund: https://t.co/hIT1cRb2Ex…
5. Two-tier justice /…
...3. CBC kids show: Casting any race except Caucasian.
4. Loans and grants: 250k plus for Black entrepreneurs and immigrants. No white equivalents.
5. Two tier justice: Migrants get lighter sentences to avoid deportation.
6. Scholarships: Many for Black Indigenous BIPOC only. No white versions.
7. CBC dating site exposure: Investigated and exposed users of WhiteDate while other ethnic apps Black Jewish Muslim Arab ignored.
8. MAiD stats: About 100k killed by MAiD and 96 percent white recipients (above population share).
9. Selective enforcement: White Lives Matter sticker on Black councillor's ad in Hamilton 2022 sparked immediate hate crime police probe. Rare for similar group messaging.
10. Media exposure leading to firing: Rachel Gilmore exposed ex Olympic bobsledder Giulio Zardo in white nationalist fight club gym. He was fired from coaching job.
But, hey - no worries, because this is the world you weren't able to create when Kamala lost. Already up and running for you to join.
I also notice the list does not include the First Tribes repossessing your private property, leaving you to pay the mortgage and taxes, or any of the legal penalties for any trans pronoun infringements you might commit.
Admittedly, moving abroad - even if it's just over the northern border - can mean a learning curve, but as woke as one has to be to consider moving to Canada because of Trump, I'd say they're probably already halfway to full Syrupean.
And, Bebé, I am here to help them leave.
Bon voyage!
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