Man, oh, MAN.

Doncha know they’re wishing they’d just stuck to someone who kinda dug WASSUP and bayou frogs?

LAWD-DEE, don’t the hits just keep coming for hiring the cool chica.

🚨BREAKING: After losing over $27 billion in market value, Anheuser-Busch is now being forced to SELL OFF several of their beer brands.

AB-InBev will reportedly be selling Shock Top, Breckenridge Brewery, Blue Point Brewing Company, 10 Barrel Brewing Company, Redhook Brewery,…

— Michael Seifert (@realmichaelseif) August 8, 2023

God bless the America Alissa Heinerscheid couldn’t wait to diss – this is gruesome*.

*LEGAL DISCLAIMER: In the interest of full clarity as far as employee trafficking – we at HotAir do NOT believe AB is ALSO SELLING THE EMPLOYEES as this article implies, although we DO believe AB might well be desperate enough to try. As this is a cannabis company, maybe they won’t mind being sold, but that’s entirely up to them.

Anheuser-Busch, the world’s largest beer maker, has sold-off 8 top craft beer, cider, and energy drink brands to Tilray Brands Inc. Top Oregon/Pacific northwest brands 10 Barrel Brewing, Widmer Brothers, Redhook Brewery, and Square Mile Cider, are part of the transaction which also includes AB/InBev’s blue moon clone Shock Top, as well as Breckenridge Brewery, Blue Point Brewing, and HiBall Energy. A press release states: The transaction includes current employees, breweries and brewpubs associated with these brands. The purchase price will be paid in all cash and the transaction is expected to close in 2023. Once the deal has closed, it is expected to position Tilray as the 5th largest “craft” brewer in the U.S. with 5% craft market share though the brands do not meet the Brewers Association’s definition of small or craft brewers.

This follows warning signs that big beer has been abandoning the craft beer market that they sought to control only a decade ago. Recently, 10 Barrel Brewing was hit with significant layoffs in sales, marketing, and production, that in hindsight we should have seen as warning signs of a potential sale.

In 2020, Anheuser-Busch acquired Craft Brew Alliance which comprises the family of brands Widmer Brothers, RedHook, Square Mile Cider, Omission gluten-reduced beers, and Kona Brewing among others. At the time, it was fiercely debated whether AB/InBev wanted any of them other than the rising stock of Kona Brewing. By selling off Widmer, RedHook, and Square Mile (but not Kona), we have the answer.

In-Bev, parent company of the former lite beer juggernaut, had a truly terrible spring…

…The partnership sparked one of the most talked-about marketing furors in recent years, with Bud Light in May losing its spot as the top-selling beer in the United States to Constellation Brands’ Modelo, as sales fell 25%. AB InBev’s U.S. revenues were down 10.5% in the second quarter, according to its results, as core profit fell 28.2%.

The company then faced criticism for failing to support Mulvaney in the wake of the controversy, which attracted political attention and led to the reported leave of absence of the marketing executive who oversaw the partnership.

Zak Stambor, senior analyst at Insider Intelligence, said AB InBev “managed to alienate both conservatives and progressives in one fell swoop” and noted the importance of marketing to a brand which is “not a markedly different product from other macrobrewed light lagers.”

…but the CEO of this cluster says he feels like they’ve reached “stabilization with signals of improvement.” Yeah, okay. Dumping assets while your profit margin is built on sales to South Africa and China?

…The Thursday earnings highlight that the Bud Light declines meant AB InBev underperformed the industry in sales to retailers. In revenue terms, the drop was partially offset by the double-digit growth of its “mainstream portfolio” in South Africa and Colombia.

China was another area of strength, with regional volumes up by 11% in the second quarter.

You’re in great shape, geniuses. How do you still have a J-O-B, dude?

Anheuser-Busch/Bud Light ($BUD) reported their quarterly earnings and it was awful.

– Missed revenue by $300 million
– Profit down 28.2%
– Sales to retailers & wholesalers down 14-15%
– Lost top beer spot in America
– CEO refused to use the word 'Boycott' during 90 min call pic.twitter.com/oRAl3f8aJg

— Grand Old Patriots🇺🇸 (@GrandOlPatriots) August 3, 2023

Just this weekend, Billy Busch, an heir to the AB fortune, was in an interview with TMZ and said Augustus and his other ancestors were “rolled over in their graves.” Ya think?

…“They were very patriotic — they loved this country and what it stood for. They believed that transgender, gays — that sort of thing — was all a very personal issue. They loved this country because it is a free country and people are allowed to do what they want, but it was never meant to be on a beer can and never meant to be pushed into people’s faces,” Busch stated.

…Of the “seismic” backlash AB faced since the Mulvaney debacle, Busch conceded it was understandable given the particular demographic of beer drinkers. He described them as typically average, hard-working men and women who don’t want agendas forced on them, particularly on the beverages they consume. “They want their beer to be truly American, truly patriotic.”

NEW: Transgender Bud Light influencer Dylan Mulvaney has cost Anheuser-Busch $27 Billion in value.

Former owner Billy Busch says Bud Light is no longer America’s beer and his father & grandfather “would have rolled over in their graves.”

“I think people who drink beer, I think… pic.twitter.com/H4Tr8DMuyX

— Collin Rugg (@CollinRugg) August 7, 2023

Well. If you haven’t seen Bud Light’s latest, miserable foray into red, white, and beer, don’t bother. Each one is as excruciating as the last.

As beer goes, Yuengling is eating their lunch as far as all American beer and commercials go, and good on them. We already have several cases of that scrumptious lager laid in as our hurricane stash, and it’s great for shrimp steaming.

In the meantime, please remember, HotAir does not condone employee trafficking, but we are talking to Ed about being sold to – what’s that doper company’s name again – right after work…

(Hey! We work hard around here!)

May the ghost of Spuds MacKenzie forgive them.

Slàinte Mhaith!