“But will their taxes go up?”
“…in the past three years, something about comedy has shifted.”
“Late night is where punch lines go to die…”
“Rich kids should have to get into college the old-fashioned way: by their parents donating a library.”
Taking a long hard look, promises be damned
Nice country ya got there. Be a real shame if anything happened to it.
The Franken strategy.
“I was just enormously disappointed about this…”
“The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else.”
“What do I tell my kids?”
What double standard?
“My conscience is clear… as long as my check clears”
“I was going to stumble around the capital pantsless with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.”
The “Rock me like a Herman Cain South Cain-olina primary rally.”
Should be safe, though, as Colbert failed to get on the ballot
When satire backfires.
“…the use of a private email system to conduct official business added an increased degree of risk”
“I say it with great sadness.”