Buzzfeed‘s Andrew Kaczynski finds the perfect contrast to Terry McAuliffe’s soft-focus introductory campaign ad about family. The Democratic candidate for governor of Virginia is styling himself as a Commonwealth man of the people after years as the quintessential fixture of Beltway culture. According to his own book, it turns out a guy with a semi-permanent seat at the “Morning Joe” table makes decisions like, well, a guy who spends his breakfasts on the “Morning Joe” set.

This is just…

“We got there a little after noon and spent the whole afternoon in her room. I was trying hard not to appear restless, but I am not one to sit still for long and soon I was going stir-crazy, which drove Dorothy nuts. ‘Isn’t there something you need to do?’ she finally said. I told her The Washington Post was having a party that evening for Lloyd Grove, who wrote the ‘Reliable Source’ column. ‘Go!’ she said. ‘You’re like a caged animal here. I’ll call you if I need you.’ I went flying out the door and drove to the party. I kept calling Dorothy to make sure she was fine. I made the rounds at the party and ran into Marjorie Williams, who was writing a story on me for Vanity Fair, magazine. She was shocked to see me at the party. ‘Isn’t Dorothy having a baby today?’ she asked. ‘That’s right,’ I said, ‘but she threw me out the room.’ Marjorie just couldn’t understand how I left Dorothy alone. I almost told her about the night I was born and how my mother wanted my father to stay at home to watch Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo, but decided against it. I went back to the hospital after the Washington Post party and at 3:33 A.M. little Sarah Swann McAuliffe was born.”

Congratulations, Terry. You’re less connected to the priorities of normal people than a Vanity Fair reporter. In fairness, pretty much all wives are entitled to do some husband-banishing and/or berating during the tense hours of labor, but said husbands would be well advised to stay closer than the first glitzy soiree they can find within the metro area.

Here’s McAuliffe’s sweet, fuzzy ad:

Click back over to Buzzfeed to read another incredibly icky McAuliffe family anecdote, which features Dorothy, another newborn baby, and a trip to a DNC fundraiser. Wow.