Just when you think you’ve identified and outmaneuvered the enemy in front of you, another one comes sneaking up from behind. Yes, I know… you’re all worried about the number of taxes in Obamacare and Taxmageddon coming in January. Perhaps you think that by simply electing some new people you’ll be in the clear. Guess again.

You’re living in the global economy now, so why not have some global taxes? Think I’m kidding? How about a global tax on all financial transactions?

Now a group of United Nations “independent experts” is pushing the European Union to back a global financial transaction tax ahead of the G-8 Summit “to offset the costs of the enduring economic, financial, fuel, climate and food crises, and to protect basic human rights.”

How about letting the UN tax all international air travel? Or maybe Turtle Bay should be allowed to tax us for our energy use based on carbon credits… or something?

And then there’s my new favorite. Since Americans are so willing to let all levels of government pass sin taxes on things like cigarettes without much more than a peep, why not let the international community get in on the cash bandwagon?

Another subsidiary of the United Nations, the World Health Organization (WHO), is also looking to self-fund through global taxes. The WHO in 2010 publicly considered asking for global consumer taxes on internet activity, online bill paying, or the always popular financial transaction tax. Currently the WHO is pushing for increased excise taxes on cigarettes, but with an important condition that they get a slice of the added revenue. The so-called Solidarity Tobacco Contribution would provide billions of dollars to the WHO, but with no ability for taxpayers or national governments to monitor how the money is spent.

It’s truly a brave new world, comrades. If you’d care to light up a Marlboro or pour yourself a glass of beer, trivial things like having Washington pick your pocket are old hat. You should pay for your sins on a more global stage. Before you know it, they’ll be selling cigarettes from vending machines one at a time for five bucks a shot and bartenders will carry loan applications for when you’d like a cold one.

Welcome to the age of international peace and prosperity. Let’s all go light up a stogy, down a few shots of Jack Daniels and do some Trust Fall Down And Pass Outs.