Down Syndrome Babies Like My Little Sister-In-Law Are Not Defects To Eliminate

he internet got a glimpse of something ancient and ugly creeping back into modern life this week. YouTuber Jesse Ridgway and his wife, Ashley, announced on social media that they had aborted their unborn child after learning the baby might have Down syndrome.

Ridgway, whose post now has more than 21 million views on X alone, defended the decision by pointing to the medical complications often associated with Down syndrome: heart defects, hearing problems, and developmental delays. “Down Syndrome isn’t a ‘blessing,’” he wrote. “It is objectively sh-tty from a health perspective.”

When I read his post, the first person I thought about was my little sister-in-law, Valentina. Valentina, now 6 years old, was born with Down syndrome. She’s had heart surgery and ear surgery — two concerns Ridgway listed. Yet Valentina is the ultimate joy of the Duffy family I married into. She’s the unquestioned favorite among all nine Duffy children. She loves music, having her hair done like her big sisters, and wearing “pretty dresses.”

But when I first learned she would likely have Down syndrome, I didn’t know any of that. Back in 2020, during a date night when my now-wife Evita told me her unborn sister likely had Down syndrome, my reaction, if I’m honest, wasn’t that different from Ridgway’s.