Hamas leadership proudly announced Wednesday that their Pride Month festivities would soon start with a wild party where anything goes. The location? The roof of a very tall hotel where they can do the best kicking-off.

"We are honored to start Pride month with a kick-off of many, many homosexuals," said elusive Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar. "We will have the biggest kick-off from this roof as is humanly possible. We invite all Queers for Palestine to come join in being kicked off."

According to IDF intelligence, the extremely tall hotel will be decked out with Pride flags, rainbow-colored streamers, and a magnificent LED light show in an effort to attract as many homosexuals as possible. An invitation has been extended to Sir Elton John to MC the event, though sources indicate it is unlikely he will accept.