Normally a box of formula lasts us about a week; we were lucky to find even one a week on shelves. I began having panic attacks that the next box would not be found and that we would be forced to use one of the ad hoc recipes online. My psychiatrist increased my medications to help me cope.

My mother-in-law agreed to look for formula while driving from Nebraska to visit us. We relaxed a bit: surely some formula could be found on a 1,200-mile road trip. But we were wrong. There was none. Someone at our church offered us several boxes of expired formula from Germany. I read from many health experts online that the nutrients in formula start to degrade over time and bacteria can develop in formula past its due date – but we didn’t have any other options. Maybe I am just a first-time mom who needs to stop Googling everything, but I was desperate for someone to assure me that I was making the right choices and taking appropriate risks to keep my daughter alive.

The problem with taking formula that your child’s body has never ingested is that there’s always a chance that it won’t be digested well. The expired formula left my daughter constipated and miserable. It’s not a matter of just finding any brand of formula that you can get your hands on. Like many others, my daughter has a sensitive stomach and several types of formula even contributed to her colic as a newborn.