For the record, most of the comments were sympathetic, but Twitter is its own kind of sewer. The anonymity mixed with the hyperpolarized climate encourages the worst in people. I understand much of what drives conservatives crazy about the left—the language police, the constant attribution of racism and xenophobia to opponents, and the uncritical embrace of fads in the same of inclusion, among other things. But what I’m still struggling to understand, and frankly doubt I will ever really comprehend, is the right’s abandonment of simple decency. Do you remember during the 2020 campaign when Donald Trump’s brother died? Joe Biden released a statement: “Mr. President, Jill and I are sad to learn of your younger brother Robert’s passing. I know the tremendous pain of losing a loved one—and I know how important family is in moments like these. I hope you know that our prayers are with you all.”

Until just a short time ago, that kind of thing would have been utterly unremarkable, one of the thousands of courtesies we extend in a civilized society. But in 2020, after five years of vertiginous descent into coarseness and venom, it seemed like a grace note. I remain mystified that, even if you listen to partisan TV all day long and patronize fact-optional websites, you can discard basic human decency like yesterday’s fashion.

I sense that people’s anger makes them feel alive and gives them a much-needed sense of community. If you hate together, you’re at least together, right? People are too damn atomized. America’s families have been in decline for decades, which has weakened communities, and localism generally. The internet has further isolated us, freeing our ids while starving our hearts.