Homosexuality in the priesthood “worries” Pope Francis. This he made clear in a book excerpt published this month by the Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera, immediately igniting confusion in the Catholic Church, including among the gay laity.

As a gay woman who accepts Catholic teaching, I understand the confusion. In more abstract comments, the pope frames gay people as servants of God. But his more direct statements present us as threats, especially in the priesthood or religious orders.

It isn’t my place to say who should be a priest. But I’ve spoken with hundreds of gay people like me who choose celibacy to live in harmony with the Catholic sexual ethic. A constant theme is that other Christians approach us with suspicion. Our spiritual guides often harp exclusively on the ways we can’t love and the things we can’t do. We are scolded or even punished for being honest about our sexual orientation, even when we are chaste. This is not an atmosphere likely to help us know and trust God’s love.