This week’s World’s Smallest Violin Award goes to Fake News Network CNN — specifically to be shared between Fake Newsman Jake Tapper and Fake Newsman Chris Cuomo, both of whom took whiny umbrage at being called Fake News while purveying Fake News.

Cuomo, who really needs to eat more brain food, even possibly more brains, said that being called Fake News while purveying Fake News is like being called the N-word. He later apologized, but not enough. He should have added banging his head repeatedly against a wall while saying, “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” over and over again.

As for Tapper, he harried and berated a largely conciliatory presidential spokeswoman, Kellyanne Conway, for almost half an hour about how hard it is out there for a Fake Newsman to always be called a Fake Newsman while being Fake. “When it comes to the Trump administration,” Tapper whined, “I would much rather be covering immigration, I would much rather be covering trade, and I would much rather be covering draining the swamp, and counter-terrorism, but instead, every day, there are these sprays of attack and sprays of falsehoods, coming from the White House.