At first, Rocky doesn’t take Thunderlips seriously. Until, that is, he gets a closer look. His corner-men warn Rocky about the potential danger, but he shrugs them off. Now, Rocky can’t win. Not because he’s smaller and weaker—I mean, a few years later he would bring East and West together taking down the steroid-fueled Drago, who was probably as powerful as the wrestler. It’s because Thunderlips doesn’t play by the rules of boxing and these are the rules Rocky understands. There is no new strategy to embrace, no weak spot that can be exploited and no training montage that’s going to change the dynamics.

In tonight’s debate, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz will go after Trump to weaken him. I understand the inclination of Republicans who demand Trump be attacked, but it’s mostly a fruitless endeavor. When Rubio or Jeb jab him with their economic plans and specifics, Thunderlips will lift them up and throw them into crowd. When they jab him by pointing out inconsistencies in his past positions, Thunderlips will pile drive them into the canvass with incoherent bluster. When they go for the knockout with juvenile Trump-like insults and big boats, they’re going look ridiculous. He is “The Mountain of Molten Lust” and they’re Barry Horowitz.