But the distress did not go away. The specialists told me to “give it time.” I thought eight years was enough of an investment in a strategy that wasn’t yielding long-term peace. A fortuitous observation on the part of a psychiatrist with whom I worked led to the definitive diagnosis of a co-existing disorder. After doing the tough work in counseling, I returned to my male gender identity and achieved real serenity.

Those who think gender reassignment is a cure for their depression, anxiety, and gender distress need to be warned. I get hundreds of emails from visitors to my web site, www.sexchangeregret.com—letters from regretters and their wives, parents, brothers, and sisters who tell me how their lives and the lives of their families are completely broken apart as a result of a family member who wants to, or has already, changed genders. All because they did not properly diagnose an existing psychological disorder before undergoing the drastic step of gender change.