"That's where it gets weird": The best comic allegory on abortion ever

This NSFW argument on abortion from comedian Bill Burr takes the cake — almost literally, in fact. Burr pronounces himself as “on the fence” on the issue of abortion, because both sides make sense to him. My body my choice? Sounds fair to Burr, who says, “Who the f*** am I to tell you what to do with your body?”

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But that doesn’t end it for Burr, who tells the audience, “I still think you’re killing a baby.” That’s the “whole purpose of the procedure,” Burr adds. “You walk in with the baby, you come out without one.”

Pro-abortion advocates argue that it’s not really a baby, Burr then notes, but declares that intellectually dishonest. “My gut tells me that doesn’t make sense,” Burr says, and then sets up his allegory about baking a cake that had audience members howling.

And again, this is very Not Safe for Work, so be warned:

“That would be if I was making a cake, and I poured some batter into a pan, and I put it in the oven, and then five minutes later, you came by, and you grabbed the pan, and you threw it across the floor,” Burr began. “And I went, ‘What the f***? You just ruined my birthday cake.’ And you were like, ‘That wasn’t cake, yet.’”

“‘Well, it would have been if you didn’t just do what you just did,’” Burr continued. “‘There would have been a cake in 50 minutes. Something happened to the cake, you cake-murdering son of a b****.’”

“You cake-murdering son of a b****!” is not the winning abortion message I would have predicted, but Burr makes it work brilliantly here.

This didn’t happen overnight, though. It comes from Burr’s Netflix special Live at Red Rocks, which began airing earlier in the month. It began circulating late yesterday, and needless to say it didn’t please everyone. The fact that pro-life people began circulating it doesn’t necessarily speak to a hardline pro-life position from Burr (he’s more ambivalent about it), but more to the fact that this sentiment gets any expression at all in popular culture. This is legitimately edgy comedy rather than the cultural-pandering clapter variety of stand-up that we mainly see and hear these days.

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One has to wonder when Burr will get the Dave Chappelle treatment, or whether he already has, but at least we have this gem in the meantime. Netflix hasn’t gotten scared off yet, which is an improvement over Netflix’s earlier history but more in line with its more robust prioritization of free speech and expression these days. Let’s hope Burr continues to benefit from it.

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John Stossel 12:00 AM | April 24, 2024
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