Who would have ever thought that the porn industry would need a bailout?  Hustler’s Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis want a $5 billion federal rescue to get the adult entertainment industry back on its feet … or back on its back … well, on firm financial footing.  Fortunately, they seem to have a Parliament of Whores ready to receive their request:

Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.”

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.

Flynt sounds as if he’s using satire to make a political point about the sudden necessity of private enterprise to receive public subsidies.  Francis sounds like he expects to get a slice of the bailout pie.  And why not?  We could make a DC Goes Wild video of Bush, Paulson, Pelosi, Reid, and eventually Obama spending money that doesn’t exist and deepening the national debt at a rate unparalleled in our history.  For obscenity, at least in a political and financial sense, it doesn’t get much more explicit than what we’ve seen in the last three months.

For that matter, hustler sounds like an apt description of the bailout high priests and priestesses, too.

Flynt notes that the adult film industry actually is in pretty good health, but that people are too depressed to have sex.  They think a bailout would be good for the national libido.  I’d say it’s just another way for taxpayers to get screwed.