We already know what it is, don’t we? Somehow, in a burst of Pinocchio-like magic, President Spock has developed feelings just like a real person. Congratulations, Barry!

Democratic National Committee Chairman Tim Kaine plans to make what’s being billed as a major announcement Wednesday about the future of the party, according to a Democratic source with knowledge of the speech.

The source tells CNN that Kaine will announce something that will excite Democrats across the country. Kaine’s event comes as Democrats face the difficult task of holding onto their majorities in the House and Senate this November.

I’m honestly intrigued. What could be so important that the DNC would hype it this ridiculously, yet so unimportant that they’d farm the announcement out to, um, Tim Kaine? Exciting new hit piece from the NYT about how Boehner, unlike everyone else in D.C., meets with lobbyists? A bold new innovation on the “if you like your plan, you can keep your plan” messaging? Dare we hope – a new car metaphor? Just tell us already!

Actually, it’s probably going to be the “relaunch” of Obama’s lame online organization or something like that, isn’t it? All theories welcome!