If the wider public knew how much nonsense the political-media class obsesses about, they’d hang us all.

On the upside, today’s obsessing over “The Simpsons” spares us another day of breathless yet ignorant tea-leaf-reading about how close Bob Mueller supposedly is to locking up Trump.

Backstory: Comedian Hari Kondabolu, who’s Indian-American, made a documentary called “The Problem With Apu” about the “Simpsons” character. Apu speaks with an Indian accent and runs a convenience store, and for years was the only major Indian character on American television. Therefore he is capital-p Problematic, never mind that he has literally no bad qualities to speak of. Everyone likes him, politics aside. The documentary gained traction because it’s ostentatiously woke and because the “Simpsons” is a famously smart show that’s normally sympathetic to liberalism, most famously in the character of Lisa. Surely the writers would recognize the truth of Kondabolu’s critique and acknowledge it forthrightly. An apology would come, if only in a sly, classically “Simpsons” way.

This actually is an apology of sorts, just not the forthright one Kondabolu and his supporters wanted. Certainly not the groveling one that crimes against wokeness typically requires.

The Simpsons goes after politically correct critics, singling out "The Problem With Apu” https://t.co/4QRHsUJnd9 pic.twitter.com/HZRYPWoqaI

— Jon Levine (@LevineJonathan) April 9, 2018

Robby Soave is correct:

The clip was clearly introspective. After lamenting that erasing all offense can make for uninteresting comedy, Lisa tacitly references the show’s history of depicting Apu as a stereotype. Marge say that “some things will be dealt with at a later date, if at all.” Many seem to be interpreting this as the writers letting themselves off the hook (The New York Times called it “a dismissal”), but I’m not so sure. It sounds like The Simpsons is making fun of itself for not handling this whole thing better, [l]ater also mocking the humorlessness of political-correctness-run-amok. The expressions on their faces say a great deal: Lisa and Marge look uncomfortable, even regretful, rather than defensive.

Imagine how “South Park” would have answered similar criticism. There would have been an episode involving a national Indian-American convention at which every attendee just so happens to own a convenience store followed by a Bollywood dance number. Drawing a line in the sand for Trey Parker and Matt Stone is inviting them to dance across it. “The Simpsons” is a sweeter show, though, and occupies a more exalted place in American pop culture. Aggressive mockery of Apu’s critics would have been out of character and bruising. If they weren’t going to grovel and they weren’t going to punch back — and, inexplicably, they weren’t going to ignore it — this is the sort of thing they had to do. Acknowledgment, if not apology.

Which satisfies no one:

Wow. “Politically Incorrect?” That’s the takeaway from my movie & the discussion it sparked? Man, I really loved this show. This is sad. https://t.co/lYFH5LguEJ

— Hari Kondabolu (@harikondabolu) April 9, 2018

In “The Problem with Apu,” I used Apu & The Simpsons as an entry point into a larger conversation about the representation of marginalized groups & why this is important. The Simpsons response tonight is not a jab at me, but at what many of us consider progress.

— Hari Kondabolu (@harikondabolu) April 9, 2018

TO THE JOURNALISTS WHO HAVE ASKED ME FOR A PUBLIC STATEMENT ABOUT LAST NIGHT’S SIMPSONS EPISODE, I JUST WANT SAY: “Congratulations to the Simpsons for being talked about & being seen as relevant again.”

— Hari Kondabolu (@harikondabolu) April 9, 2018

It would amaze and depress you to know how many allegedly highbrow publications are hand-wringing over the “Simpsons” clip today. (Bonus points to Vanity Fair for cringing at the funny “Don’t have a cow” inscription on Lisa’s photo of Apu because it “seemed like a direct mockery of Hinduism.”) Nothing will top this, though:

The Simpsons dismissing The Problem With Apu as "political correctness" was bad enough, but having it come from Lisa Simpson felt cruel.
Lisa has always been about open-mindedness and re-examining her values when challenged by perspective.
Real Lisa would not approve. pic.twitter.com/FpmAArAcUe

— Beth Elderkin (@BethElderkin) April 9, 2018

Evidently “Real Lisa” exists somewhere in nature outside the “Simpsons” writing room, like a form in Plato’s cave, and as a consummate bien-pensant liberal she’s very unhappy with what the writers have done to her in this scene. “The Simpsons” is no longer sufficiently woke for one of its own characters. What is to be done?

An apology is coming here, not as an old-fashioned written statement but in the plot of some future episode. The show will make amends. Not because the writers want to but because, a la Jimmy Kimmel wrestling with Sean Hannity, they’ll realize that when you’re an entertainer wrestling with a political actor over politics, your opponent will never quit before you do. They can either go on ignoring the criticism of Apu they’ll receive in the stultifying garbage upscale publications they consume, knowing that this will now forever be cited by a certain type of liberal as a black mark on the show’s legacy, or they can cave and put it to bed. Get on with it.