Looking for astrological insights into the Clinton baby? Politico's got you covered

I’m writing on this topic reluctantly, not because it’s stupid (it is) but because I’m already anticipating the annoyance of getting an I-will-no-longer-read-this-website e-mail from an astrology true believer. I could troll you guys a million times with dopey “Romney 2016?” or “Huckabee 2016?” posts and that same reader would take it all with a smile, but one post questioning whether the arc of a newborn’s life can be foretold by the position of the moon equals “Subject: DELETED BOOKMARK.”

Let’s get on with it then. I see this Politico item as no different from the latest Vox idiocy that’s making the rounds among righties. The authors understand what they’re writing is goofy, but they also know that there’s a certain niche of low-information reader online (Vox’s target audience) that’ll eat this particular flavor of goofiness up with a spoon. Not all clicks in political media are “outrage clicks,” as Sonny Bunch says. Some are stupidity clicks. Being fairly stupid myself, here’s me helping Politico out with a link:

“[Charlotte] is a Libra geared towards relationships, getting along, diplomacy, judicial matters and good breeding,” said Terry Nazon, host of iHeart Radio show “Terry Nazon’s Astrology Nation.” “This little Libra will be geared towards service to others, to fighting for the underdog and for the rights of others.”…

“Although she is likely to have political leanings, a strong humanitarian nature, she’s likely to do so from the position of power and money…even if she does have a political future, it would be from the side of politics that is more about finance,” [John] Marchesella said…

Charlotte was born when the moon was in the Scorpio position, known as a “Scorpio Moon,” which sets her up for a strong relationship with her grandmother.

“The moon often shows your emotions and also your relationships with the important women in your life, and actually Hillary herself is a Scorpio so [Charlotte will] probably be very close to her grandmother and even a lot like her in certain ways,” Edut said. “The Scorpio moon can be a little bit intense, so she may be a little quiet and sweet but also observing everything and very much like her grandmother, probably very direct when she really does believe or want something.”

In other words, she’s going to be an overcredentialed, underwhelming politician who gets far because of her money and connections. Either that or an investment banker.

Here’s all I’ll say in Politico’s defense: This is the sort of thing that typically runs in the media on the occasion of royal births, no? And little Charlotte’s de facto royalty in a country that’s trending towards monarchy. We’re on the cusp of a Bush/Clinton rematch in 2016; Obama, a guy who got elected running against the idea of an all-powerful executive, now routinely exercises kingly powers that Bush never could have gotten away with. Like JFK Jr (and her own mom), Charlotte will have reporters tailing her and asking her if she’s planning to run for office someday literally until the day she dies, no matter what field she ends up in. Americans pride themselves on their egalitarian heritage in rejecting monarchy and yet they palpably crave a noble class of celebrities, political and otherwise, on whom power and riches naturally devolve. What’s wrong with a “political news” magazine catering to that interest by inviting soothsayers to say what’s in store for the future queen?

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