The greatest country in the world: Bacon milkshake now available

I’d call it a palate cleanser but ain’t nothing clean about this. Let me tell you something, though. We may have more debt than any nation in the history of the world. Our president may be a failed messiah whom nobody takes seriously anymore. Our Supreme Court justices may think our Constitution is eh. And our flagship car companies may churn out flaming bags of crapola. But as our country lurches towards the grave, take comfort in this: We’re going with our bellies full of the most insanely gluttonous treats that mentally ill chefs can come up with. This is what decadence tastes like, my friends. Like … bacon syrup.

Alternate headline: “Maybe that sugar tax isn’t such a bad idea after all.”

Jack in the Box is now serving a Bacon Milkshake. Yes, it’s real, and yes, they are hoping it will cause some sort of bacon-fueled mass hysteria, so it’s “as limited as limited can be.” Denny’s produced a Maple Bacon Sundae for their Baconalia promotion, so it’s not unheard of for a chain to add bacon to dessert, although word on the street is the Jack in the Box shake uses bacon-flavored syrup and not actual porky goodness.

There are no Jack in the Boxes (Jacks in the Box?) in New York so I’m forced to rely on the HA faithful who live near one of these things to go out this weekend, take one for the team, and report back. Someone on Twitter tells me she sampled it and that it was “the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted,” replete with an aftertaste that lingered for an hour. This guy, however, pronounced it “delicious” and said the crew was noticeably excited to make it. I’ll bet. Follow the last link for sweet, savory photos of America’s decline in a cup.

The exit question I never thought I’d ask: Have we gone too far with bacon?