The hour has come: KFC releases the kraken

posted at 8:13 pm on April 12, 2010 by Allahpundit

If you don’t think this qualifies as news, I encourage you to do a YouTube search for “KFC double down” and count the number of videos trickling in. So completely has this greasebomb captured America’s imagination that people not only feel compelled to film themselves eating it but to make their films public for the gratification of others. We have officially entered the age, my friends, of the food sex tape. Newsworthy, no?

Salon is right on the money, for once:

There are 540 calories in KFC’s Double Down, about the same as McDonald’s suddenly quaint Big Mac. But the Double Down, and everybody’s peeking-through-covered-eyes reaction to it, is not about logic. It’s about balls.

The balls of a fast food chain, in the middle of rational America’s hand-wringing about obesity and sustainable eating, to come out with a sandwich made of bacon, cheese, mayo-ish sauce and two slabs of fried chicken as the bread. The balls of KFC, which, in the weak-willed ’90s, changed its brand from Kentucky Fried Chicken to its lame initials because it didn’t want you to have to say the word “fried” every time you spoke its name. The Double-D is so macho, so deeply, dumbly dude, it’s a sandwich for people who want to take down Michelle Obama in an arm wrestle.

Call it the audacity of lard. My Twitter feed is overflowing with friends who dared to try it (“Save your money and drink a can of Morton salt instead”). The good news? It’s more appetizing than it seemed in these photos at Consumerist, which made it look like hot garbage. The bad news? The verdicts are trending decidedly towards the mediocre. I know some of you took the plunge today, so let’s have it: Is it good enough to warrant arterial blockage? Comments are open. Exit question: If tough economic times influence men’s tastes in women, isn’t it possible that they influence our tastes in food too? Without the recession, the Double Down might never have happened. Silver lining!


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I was sitting on a bench in the KFC eating one when suddenly I felt faint and the lights went out. I woke up a little bit later to find myself in an ambulance being transported to the local emergency room. In the gurney next to me was another guy who was similarly stricken — only he looked like he had rigor mortis. He was totally white, with a plastic-like sheen on his face. The paramedics were working on him with the paddles but he wasn’t moving at all. Turned out later that the sandwich had converted his entire insides to fiberglass….

unclesmrgol on April 12, 2010 at 9:12 PM

Heh great! More job for Mr. PPF! He could not bear watching the YouTube clip.

ProudPalinFan on April 12, 2010 at 9:52 PM

Oddly enough, they apparently cook these beasts to order. Unlike every other fried chicken product they have stewing away in their warmer ovens, this puppy needs to be fried then and there and takes about ten minutes, at least in my neck of the woods.

By the way, Jack Bauer just had sex. Seven seasons and the guy’s never used a restroom or hit a drive-thru, but he finally found time to get intimate with Rene Walker.

Giggity!

CaptFlood on April 12, 2010 at 9:53 PM

Unless you have a side-order of Poutine with that, you’re just another girlie-man!

Ogabe on April 12, 2010 at 9:55 PM

I hate it hate it, but Primanti’s got some big fat custom suckers with french fries IN it. I heard also about “The Roesthlisberger”, at Heinz Field (ask Ed if he’s had it), but I will restrain my comments on that one; at least charges were dropped.

Good to be a Steelers’ QB with a banged-up head.

ProudPalinFan on April 12, 2010 at 9:56 PM

Had it. Pretty tasty, but yeah, really, really salty.

Jim-Rose on April 12, 2010 at 9:47 PM

You may bring up a good point here. On a side note, another thing that doesn’t like salt is slugs. hmmm…

disillusioned on April 12, 2010 at 9:58 PM

What kills me is seeing where a bunch of cons have been having a fit because this exists. What? How about we let ppl eat what they want and let the market decide about the DD? I was disappointed that so many acted w/ so much Nannyism. *sigh*

di butler on April 12, 2010 at 10:07 PM

AP…get over your southern bias…KFC isn’t and hasn’t been Kentucky Fried Chicken in many years…please…find a story besides your twitter…I can find equally deserving grease any day in NYC…

DCJeff on April 12, 2010 at 10:12 PM

I had this and in hindsight I really see this as more of a psychological thing than a health thing. It has about the same calories as a Big Mac, not THAT bad… if it was a six piece chicken strips with cheese bacon dip, no one would think twice about it. But put the chicken strips into paddies and make it a sandwich and its THE APOCALYPSE OMGZ.

Dark Eden on April 12, 2010 at 10:13 PM

di butler on April 12, 2010 at 10:07 PM

Man, thank goodness I don’t live in New York. Trans fats gone, with a pending ban on salt. What’s next, gravy, water(not that I’d drink it there), cheese?

disillusioned on April 12, 2010 at 10:15 PM

I saw a TV show recently about how they closed down all the KFCs in the lower socio-economic areas in Colorado to curb obesity and its attendant health issues. They replaced the KFC restaurants with medical marijuana dispensaries. Some people deliberately contracted cancer to get pot legally, so they concluded from the rise in cancer rates that KFC had been keeping people healthy and the restaurants were allowed to return.

Oh, wait. That was South Park.

Terrie on April 12, 2010 at 10:16 PM

The kids are piling into the wagon and heading over tonight– got the camper and bottled water ready in case there’s a wait.

leftnomore on April 12, 2010 at 10:39 PM

Too bad KFC can’t sell beer to go with it. It’s a damn shame I have to make an extra stop for a six pack of Colt 45 malt liquor to wash it down. But it shore is a damn fine combination! And screw all you frickin’ pale, limp-wristed, nanny-state prigs who’ll do your damnest to get this banned. I’m sure there’s a provision in the multi-thousand page Obama-Care bill aimed at just that.

….BURP!…….

bannedbyhuffpo on April 12, 2010 at 10:58 PM

Eat ‘em before Obama bans them. Yum…

I adore the snarky video except for the beta male closing.

Mojave Mark on April 12, 2010 at 11:04 PM

What’s next, gravy, water(not that I’d drink it there), cheese?

disillusioned on April 12, 2010 at 10:15 PM

Get away from my gravy, boy. Anyone messin’ with gravy, esp sausage gravy….we’ll skit em back up to Yankeeland… :p

bikermailman on April 12, 2010 at 11:14 PM

I liked it. Anyone complaining about the salt or the chicken or whatever has never eaten at KFC. It’s no where near as greasy as a good Philly cheese steak. The only thing I would say about it is that it didn’t feel like a sandwich. It’s basically fried chicken with a cheese/bacon/sauce topping. Still good though but not worthy of the hysterics that the salad eating media is trying to push. It’s like they’ve never eaten fast food or something.

JavelinaBomb on April 12, 2010 at 11:42 PM

bikermailman on April 12, 2010 at 11:14 PM

lol, thanks for the smile. I declare, I like the cut of your jib there sir.

disillusioned on April 12, 2010 at 11:52 PM

I really see this as more of a psychological thing than a health thing. It has about the same calories as a Big Mac, not THAT bad… if it was a six piece chicken strips with cheese bacon dip, no one would think twice about it. But put the chicken strips into paddies and make it a sandwich and its THE APOCALYPSE OMGZ. -Dark Eden on April 12, 2010 at 10:13 PM

Absolutely, it’s totally a marketing gimmick! How many fully loaded double and even triple patty bacon burgers are sold at Burger King & Wendy’s every day?

As you said, it’s got the same calorie count as a wussy little Big Mac and, aside from pre-pubescent girls watching their weight, who even eats those scrawny things anymore? ;-)

And this is chicken breast – much for healthful than ground up cowfat. The only other difference is that the bread is cooked right onto the meat rather than slapped on separately after the fact. Big woo.

Not that it’s a bad gimmick, mind you. It’s wonderful that KFC is giving its customers the chance to stick their thumbs in the eye of the Nanny Bloombergs of this world, not to mention all their fellow anal retentive control freaks on the left, even it’s only a symbolical thumb jab rather than a substantive one.

I’m just kinda surprised that the ill-tempered little snark Jack (of in the Box fame) didn’t try to pull off this gimmick first, though. The Colonel’s got a rebellious streak in him. Who knew?

leilani on April 12, 2010 at 11:54 PM

@Terrie on April 12, 2010 at 10:16 PM:

ROFL! I’ve got to sit down & watch that show sometime. The recaps I read online from you guys are such a scream.

leilani on April 13, 2010 at 12:02 AM

MSM Journalist. Check.
Ponytail. Check.
Politically correct nods to obesity and unhealthy foods. Check.
Pathetic apologies for his own enjoyment. Check.
Total hypocrisy. Check.

JeffB. on April 13, 2010 at 12:36 AM

540 calories? Is that all? That’s nothing compared to the sandwichs Eat This Not That regularly finds at restaurants. We’re talking 1,000, 2,000, or even 3,000 calories, not to mention the fat and salt.

20 Worst Foods in America

Example, the Applebee’s Quesadilla Burger:

1,820 calories
46 g saturated fat
4,410 mg sodium

Check it out, but keep the Pepto-Bismol handy.

Common Sense on April 13, 2010 at 12:48 AM

Be careful guys
if you have a weak tummy, like me
it will send you reminders after about 6 hours.
And I didn’t even eat the whole sandwich

macncheez on April 13, 2010 at 1:00 AM

I had one today. It was decent. I would have it without the sauce, however as that is what seemed to bring the rating down for me. Next time, I will go for it sans sauce and I am expecting it to be much better. :) :) :)

Theophile on April 13, 2010 at 4:27 AM

Invest in toilet paper…

Seven Percent Solution on April 13, 2010 at 4:27 AM

YOU MEAN THE DUMBING DOWN CONTINUES!

BobAnthony on April 13, 2010 at 6:38 AM

Bastards! Same day I finally go on a diet….

n0doz on April 13, 2010 at 6:44 AM

I bought one yesterday just to slap the food Nazis upside da head.

PappyD61 on April 13, 2010 at 7:06 AM

I had one yesterday to spite FLOTUS and because it looked delicious.

It was actually quite good. Not eight dollars good, but tasty.

Hendo on April 13, 2010 at 9:32 AM

We stopped at a Hardees on a recent trip…. they have bacon-cheddar fries on the menu…. which are fries and bacon covered in melted cheddar cheese. My heart almost stopped just looking at the picture.

roux on April 13, 2010 at 10:04 AM

Everything’s better with bacon and cheddar.

JerseyJeff on April 13, 2010 at 11:33 AM

Just had one and here’s my review. :)

It’s not as filling or as “OMFG I’m GONNA DIE” greasy as you might think. I got the original, not the grilled. I opted to just get the sandwich instead of the meal with the potato wedges. Had I got the meal, I still don’t think I would have left there feeling bloated.

All in all, it’s good (certainly the best “sandwich” on their menu) but not GREAT. Now, if they had the Extra Crispy – then we’re talking serious, serious yummage.

RedNewEnglander on April 13, 2010 at 5:01 PM

Absolutely delicious (although I got it w/out the sauce).

netster007x on February 3, 2012 at 11:16 PM

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