C’mon, I have to post it. It’s the closest thing we’ve had to news today. Except, of course, for the missile-that-isn’t-really-a-missile story. (No, really, it isn’t!)

Two clips here, both via Mediaite, the first of which is as near as we’re ever likely to get to a cute bit on “Countdown.” As for the second, he’s surprisingly low-key and actually gracious enough to thank Jonah Goldberg and Bill Kristol by name for supporting him — even going so far as to admit that he probably wouldn’t have done the same for them. We also get to find out that (a) the White House phoned him after the suspension, which I think/hope/pray is a joke; (b) he’s finally replaced the references at the end of the show to Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” speech with references to John Boehner’s failure to create jobs despite not actually having been elected Speaker yet; and (c) we the public “never, ever” would have known about his political donations if he had donated through the dastardly Chamber of Commerce. To which I say: Yes, we would have, Keith, if you had held yourself to your own ethics rules and voluntarily disclosed. Sometimes people can do the right thing without being forced to by the government. Crazy, I know, yet true.