Ted Turner: The BP spill might be a message from God

Via Story Balloon, new wisdom from the green prophet known for admiring China’s population control measures when he isn’t busy warning of cannibalism if we don’t get those carbon emissions in check pronto. Over to you, Greg Gutfeld:

And so Turner joins all the other nutbags who see suffering as a soapbox. You’ve already got Hugo Chavez, Pat Robertson and that crazed mullah from Iran (who blamed women’s hemlines for earthquakes). All these folks lack that fundamental voice in your head that says, “when people are in pain – shut up, rather than pile on.”

But does Ted really believe these disasters are God’s punishment? Nope. For Ted, God is not dead. God is Ted.

It is He, after all, who doesn’t like drilling or coal – so in effect he’s saying those disasters are not evidence of God’s judgmental hand, but Ted’s. He uses the horrible deaths to say, “see- I’m right! Those miners are dead because I’m right!” God killed them to prove Ted is really smart!

Right, except that Ted’s not really smart. For one thing, if this is Jehovah’s handiwork, he got a major assist from federal inspectors who not only looked the other way at safety requirements but actually ended up handing out awards to the oil execs involved. And for another thing, as much as it pains me to goof on a lefty proponent of nuclear energy, wouldn’t this idiot be saying the same thing about divine intervention if we had another Three Mile Island? If and when that happens, I’m not blaming God. (How could I?) I’m blaming Ted.