Hot Air » Blog Archive » Bad news from Ted Turner: Global warming to lead to cannibalism; Update: Video added

Bad news from Ted Turner: Global warming to lead to cannibalism; Update: Video added

posted at 1:58 pm on April 2, 2008 by Allahpundit
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He’s taking flak for saying in the same interview that Iraqi insurgents are patriots motivated by natural loathing for the occupier, which may be true for some of the non-AQ rank and file but would come as news to the Shiites and Kurds with respect to the “patriotic” Baathist dregs in charge. As for the looming catastrophe, there’s a reason the HuffPo Readers of Tomorrow are banging on your door when they see a light on in the window, my friends. It’s because they don’t want to have to eat your brain 30 years from now:

TED TURNER: Not doing it will be catastrophic. We’ll be eight degrees hottest in ten, not ten but 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals. Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable. The droughts will be so bad there’ll be no more corn grown. Not doing it is suicide. Just like dropping bombs on each other, nuclear weapons is suicide. We’ve got to stop doing the suicidal two things, which are hanging on to our nuclear weapons and after that we’ve got to stabilize the population. When I was born-

CHARLIE ROSE: So what’s wrong with the population?

TURNER: We’re too many people. That’s why we have global warming. We have global warming because too many people are using too much stuff. If there were less people, they’d be using less stuff.

And that’s the crux of it, isn’t it? Exit question: What’s the first step to solving the “too many people” problem? Imprisoning the skeptics? Taxing reproduction? Mandatory abortions? Or do we do the irresponsible thing and wait until they’ve finally figured out how to do climate modeling?

Update: Here’s the man himself, commanding as always with that vaguely slurred way of speaking of his.

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Monty Python skit with ship-wrecked sailors floating in a rubber raft in the middle of the ocean. After many days at sea, an argument erupts:
1st sailor: “How long is it?”
2nd sailor: “That’s a rather personel question, isn’t it?”
1st sailor: “No, I mean, how long have we been out here with no food or drinking water?”
Johnson: “Alright. I’ll sacrifice myself for the rest of you. Go ahead. Eat me.”
1st sailor: “Eat Johnson? I don’t want to eat Johnson.”
2nd sailer: “Why not?”
1st sailor: “He’s got a gamy leg. That’s why not.”
Johnson: “No, PLEASE. You MUST eat ME.”
….

My collie says:

Ya’ know, for some time now, I been thinking that HotAir threads bear a strong resemblance to some of the Monty Python skits that I’ve seen.

CyberCipher on April 2, 2008 at 4:09 PM

I was looking at somethinbg elso on the front page and my eye half-scanned the headline:

Bad news
Turner
warming to
cannibalism

eeyore on April 2, 2008 at 4:13 PM

Why. Why is someone so stupid so rich? It says a lot about the world…

Grayson on April 2, 2008 at 4:24 PM

Obviously Ted has watched too many of the “B” movies on his own channel.

Maxx on April 2, 2008 at 4:26 PM

Ted has an obvious brain drain.

Johan Klaus on April 2, 2008 at 4:30 PM

The corn won’t grow!?!?!!?!

mattyj86 on April 2, 2008 at 4:31 PM

Neat how he skipped from 10 years to 30 or 40. In 10 years when nothing happens his lying foolish a$$ might still be around to be deservedly kicked. He can talk 40 years knowing he wont be around to take the blame when nothing happens.

Hell in 50 years we will be splitting methane atoms when we fart and the problem will be disposal of excess energy.

BL@KBIRD on April 2, 2008 at 4:41 PM

When Howard Hughes and Hugh Hefner went stupid, at least they stayed in bed with pajamas on. What’s wrong with Turner? Can’t he find any nice pajamas?

JiangxiDad on April 2, 2008 at 4:51 PM

The corn won’t grow!?!?!!?!

That’s right! Have you ever been to a tropical jungle? Nothing grows there! Its too hot.

Just think of the famine that would arise if midwestern farmers were planting and harvesting two crops a year instead of one! And its not like the northern Canadian plains, Greenland or Siberia would support crops if the earth warmed up. Looks like I’ll be living on soylent green when I retire.

taznar on April 2, 2008 at 5:07 PM

Often, people who get rich are very specialized in making money.

Often, people who specialize very heavily at one thing are bad at other things.

One wishes the MSM would stop holding up plumbers as experts at heart surgery, and heart surgeons as experts on submarine design.

Or celebrities at, well, anything.

Merovign on April 2, 2008 at 5:13 PM

Looks like Jane Fonda sucked all of the intelligence out of this man…

right2bright on April 2, 2008 at 5:27 PM

Does he not realize that crops actually grow better if the earth is a giant greenhouse?

How DARE you drive that Hummer! As punishment, I will devour your children! OM NOM NOM.

Capitana on April 2, 2008 at 5:29 PM

BL@KBIRD on April 2, 2008 at 4:41 PM

interesting.. splitting of the methane atom via the digestive tract, into a viable energy source for the house yet having to throw excess away!
Man you are GENIUS!
Does this mean I can have my dna altered methane producing dwarf cow and run my electric car, electric house and other off shoots via it’s digestive tract? Hmm wonder where the waste will go then.
I guess I will just have to start a rain forest and fertilize it via my altered dwarf cow’s patties! Lets hope they are smaller then the average patty as well.

upinak on April 2, 2008 at 5:32 PM

That’s right! Have you ever been to a tropical jungle? Nothing grows there! Its too hot.

Just think of the famine that would arise if midwestern farmers were planting and harvesting two crops a year instead of one! And its not like the northern Canadian plains, Greenland or Siberia would support crops if the earth warmed up. Looks like I’ll be living on soylent green when I retire.

taznar on April 2, 2008 at 5:07 PM

Uh…. LOL Hey, if we all decide to start following the Bin Laden example (50+ kids per man) I could see it.

What a maroon.

funky chicken on April 2, 2008 at 5:34 PM

You know, if the Islamonazis would invest in something as worthwhile as desalinization plants instead of bomb belts

Oh, never mind.

Remember 3 years ago when these idiots were screeching that the big hurricanes were caused by global warming? A lib friend of the husband with a doctorate in meteorology fell off the AGW bandwagon….global warming would cause fewer and weaker hurricanes. For some reason that pile of baloney caused the scales to fall from his eyes. So every ludicrous claim may just have the same effect on many folks across the nation and world.

funky chicken on April 2, 2008 at 5:40 PM

“We have global warming because too many people are using too much stuff”.

Can anyone tell me the square footage of the house this hypocrite lives in?

Poway on April 2, 2008 at 6:03 PM

As Tom Maguire responded, “Hey Ted, eat me”.

Can’t top that.

SteveMG on April 2, 2008 at 6:41 PM

What was Charlie Rose’s audience share for this puppet show?

whitetop on April 2, 2008 at 6:59 PM

When Howard Hughes and Hugh Hefner went stupid, at least they stayed in bed with pajamas on. What’s wrong with Turner? Can’t he find any nice pajamas?

I love it!

He is far and away the most foolish of the 3 for sure.

TroubledMonkey on April 2, 2008 at 7:19 PM

Ted Turner = the Dems’ collective “crazy old uncle”?

krispy on April 2, 2008 at 7:25 PM

Sorry, but I refuse to take the man who inflicted Captain Planet upon us seriously.

ZK on April 2, 2008 at 7:39 PM

I guess that Ted gets to decide who lives. As for as nuclear weapons are concerned, you cannot put the Jeanne back in the bottle.

Johan Klaus on April 2, 2008 at 7:48 PM

Yeah I love it when people that have private jets and many giant houses tell me to ride my bike to work and live in a tent. I will get right ont that and reduce my carbon foot print so you can buy another house, another jet or two and a few more limos to ride around in. Oh and I will skip my baths for the next few weeks so as to save a little more energy while I am sitting in the dark! Thanks for helping me understand how I can sacrifice for your good Ted.

USBB on April 2, 2008 at 7:50 PM

Why is it always 10 -30 years out we’re doomed…Sherman set the Way Back Machine to 1970, does anyone remember these gems:

In the 1970s, the world will undergo famines. Hundreds of millions of people are going to starve to death in spite of any crash programs embarked upon now. Population control is the only answer — Paul Ehrlich – The Population Bomb (1968)

I would take even money that England will not exist in the year 2000 — Paul Ehrlich in (1969)

In ten years all important animal life in the sea will be extinct. Large areas of coastline will have to be evacuated because of the stench of dead fish. — Paul Ehrlich, Earth Day (1970)

Before 1985, mankind will enter a genuine age of scarcity … in which the accessible supplies of many key minerals will be facing depletion — Paul Ehrlich in (1976)

This [cooling] trend will reduce agricultural productivity for the rest of the century — Peter Gwynne, Newsweek 1976

There are ominous signs that the earth’s weather patterns have begun to change dramatically and that these changes may portend a drastic decline in food production – with serious political implications for just about every nation on earth. The drop in food production could begin quite soon… The evidence in support of these predictions has now begun to accumulate so massively that meteorologist are hard-pressed to keep up with it. — Newsweek, April 28, (1975)

This cooling has already killed hundreds of thousands of people. If it continues and no strong action is taken, it will cause world famine, world chaos and world war, and this could all come about before the year 2000. — Lowell Ponte “The Cooling”, 1976

If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder by the year 2000…This is about twice what it would take to put us in an ice age. — Kenneth E.F. Watt on air pollution and global cooling, Earth Day (1970)

The continued rapid cooling of the earth since WWII is in accord with the increase in global air pollution associated with industrialization, mechanization, urbanization and exploding population. — Reid Bryson, “Global Ecology; Readings towards a rational strategy for Man”, (1971)

Go eff yourself, I’m gonna go do donuts in my big block 1971 corvette stingray, 9 miles per gallon.

Alden Pyle on April 2, 2008 at 9:10 PM

Population too high?? The Umbrella Corporation just might have the answer you seek.
Warning, side effects may include cannibalism, zombie like symptoms may occur….

(Resident Evil)

Ted…. please step away from the game console…

mrfixit on April 2, 2008 at 9:49 PM

WTF are we going to do with grampa?

Claypigeon on April 2, 2008 at 10:16 PM

He also said we would warm by 8 degrees in 10 er 20 or 30 years!! Lol he must drink ‘absolute for breakfast’.

allrsn on April 2, 2008 at 11:11 PM

I wonder if Ted think’s that Americans are patriots who are defending our nation against the Illegal Alien Invasion?

The Aztecs were cannibals. The earth must have been warmer then…

DfDeportation on April 2, 2008 at 11:35 PM

Fear mongering

Dollayo on April 3, 2008 at 12:37 AM

Soylent Green, mad human disease, bring it on!

greenLibertarian on April 3, 2008 at 1:00 AM

We should start now, with an Islamoburger perhaps, and what great population control!

greenLibertarian on April 3, 2008 at 1:05 AM

Yeah I love it when people that have private jets and many giant houses tell me to ride my bike to work and live in a tent. I will get right ont that and reduce my carbon foot print so you can buy another house, another jet or two and a few more limos to ride around in. Oh and I will skip my baths for the next few weeks so as to save a little more energy while I am sitting in the dark! Thanks for helping me understand how I can sacrifice for your good Ted.

USBB on April 2, 2008 at 7:50 PM

He sees and he observes.

Holmes on April 3, 2008 at 2:27 AM

There is something he could do about it. He could die. That would remove one large carbon footprint from the face of the planet. But no, he figures it has to be other people, the others who don’t matter, who must die over faulty science.

What an ass!

herself on April 3, 2008 at 2:31 AM

Like so many global warming activists, his hypocrisy is sickening…

Livefreeordie on April 3, 2008 at 2:36 AM

Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals.

How is he so sure he’s gonna be included in the latter group?

soundingboard on April 3, 2008 at 4:42 AM

I call dibs on Jessica Alba!

I want Halle Berry

I want Rosie O’ Donnell. Sure the Big Ro might not be very appetizing, but there’s definitely going to be a lot of meat.

Mike Honcho on April 2, 2008 at 3:23 PM

scarlett johanssen is MINE!!!

homesickamerican on April 3, 2008 at 6:18 AM

Gee whiz – liberals are such optimistic people arent they?

TURNER: We’re too many people. That’s why we have global warming. We have global warming because too many people are using too much stuff. If there were less people, they’d be using less stuff.

We’ve killed 40 to 40 MILLION of our own citizens in the womb since 1973. Whasamatter Teddy – we’re not moving fast enough for you?

Jerk. Nitwit. How’d anybody so incredibly stupid get so rich? Is he lucky, or does God just love him?

abcurtis on April 3, 2008 at 6:57 AM

How’d anybody so incredibly stupid get so rich? Is he lucky, or does God just love him?

He’s AP’s posterchild for atheism, in that case.

Reaps on April 3, 2008 at 7:52 AM

oh, and major lols@’om nom nom’

Reaps on April 3, 2008 at 7:54 AM

Go eff yourself, I’m gonna go do donuts in my big block 1971 corvette stingray, 9 miles per gallon.

Alden Pyle on April 2, 2008 at 9:10 PM

LOL :)

bridgetown on April 3, 2008 at 8:17 AM

mrfixit on April 2, 2008 at 9:49 PM

Zombies are so yesterday. Everyone knows it’s all about Las Plagas these days.

ZK on April 3, 2008 at 9:40 AM

Since Jane left Ted has become stranger and stranger which is also reflected in the diminishing quality of his CNN Empire.

This tirade also shows that Ted is auditioning for Terry McAuliffe job as mouthpiece of the Clinton’s.

Jane, see what you have created, a shell of a man with only half a brain.

MSGTAS on April 3, 2008 at 9:46 AM

Ted needs to spend less time thinking. He embarrasses both himself and us with his ignorance.

Think_b4_speaking on April 3, 2008 at 10:00 AM

I thought the man was senile when he married “Hanoi Jane”. Now there is no doubt in my mind. Why would anyone give this man a forum, let alone listen to him!!!!

pueblo1032 on April 3, 2008 at 11:50 AM

Alden Pyle on April 2, 2008 at 9:10 PM

That’s good stuff. I look forward to reading your Al Gore and Ted Turner quotes in 30 or 40 years. That is, if someone hasn’t already eaten you.

Maybe Ted should be talking on MSNBC’s China and India affiliates. They have the better part of half of the world’s population. The US is around 5%.

orlandocajun on April 3, 2008 at 11:59 AM

My first thought was

stick a fork in him and see if he is done yet

My second thought was raw fear. This guy with all his bucks is going to survive into the next phase of global warming and he is going to be mighty hungry. I am not as fast as I used to be and he will probably be driving a truck mounted with a hunting rifle

entagor on April 3, 2008 at 12:05 PM

It would be scary eating Hanoi Jane.

geminicontender on April 3, 2008 at 1:26 PM

Could you imagine the foul odor that would eminate?

geminicontender on April 3, 2008 at 1:27 PM

The guys at World Climate Audit have addressed this issue — see “What the Future Holds in Store” at

http://www.worldclimatereport.com/index.php/2008/01/30/what-the-future-holds-in-store/#more-304

There are only four ways to bring total global CO2 emissions (blue line) down below the target (black line) by the end of this century.

The first is to bring the world’s population back down under 4 billion—the population that produces about half as much CO2 as the population does now (ignoring of course, that the world’s most populous country is rapidly increasing per capita CO2 emissions as you read this). In other words, we must immediately begin to buck the current population growth rate and prove the projections wrong. Instead of the world’s population growing by 2.5 billion people, it must decline by at least that amount. Then, as is evidenced by the relationship in Figure 1, CO2 emissions (hopefully) will follow.

Since no one seems to putting forth this modest proposal, we’ll assume that this isn’t what people have in mind (or at least aren’t expressing it).

I guess they were wrong….Turner seems to be suggesting just that.

The blog is a good read on why even a 50% reduction in CO2 by 2100 is simply not feasible (without killing a few billion people). Note that Hill calling for 60% reduction and Algore 90%. I wonder if they advocate similar means?

BillyRuffn on April 3, 2008 at 2:02 PM

It is hard to think, when you have Alzheimers. Now where did I put my keys……

Johan Klaus on April 3, 2008 at 5:51 PM

I would like to see a 90% reduction in Gore’s CO2.

Johan Klaus on April 3, 2008 at 5:52 PM

This guy is delusional.

WisCon on April 3, 2008 at 7:05 PM

Shut up, Ted. You confuse talking a lot with actually thinking. Thinking actually requires an attention span greater than that of a gnat.

eanax on April 3, 2008 at 8:44 PM

Monty Python skit with ship-wrecked sailors floating in a rubber raft in the middle of the ocean. After many days at sea, an argument erupts:

You Tube

UndertheBridge on April 3, 2008 at 11:45 PM

Go eff yourself, I’m gonna go do donuts in my big block 1971 corvette stingray, 9 miles per gallon.

I had a 1973 Dodge Charger SE, 400 cid, 17mpg on the highway, about 13 or 14 around town. But gas was cheap and it was a fun drive.

abcurtis on April 4, 2008 at 10:07 AM

Ted, just Stuff It.

MSGTAS on April 4, 2008 at 10:32 AM

Global warming to lead to cannibalism

Question: Does Ted Turner still have enough teeth to survive in a cannibalistic society?

(BITE ME, TED!!)

landlines on April 4, 2008 at 1:08 PM

It seems like the left would put a muzzle on these Bozo’s

Johan Klaus on April 4, 2008 at 2:46 PM

We’ll be eight degrees hottest in ten, not ten but 30 or 40 years….

I don’t think anyone is predicting that.

Kralizec on April 20, 2009 at 10:22 PM

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