Game over: Hollywood to remake ... "Look Who's Talking"

Just when I thought they’d come up with the worst movie idea ever, they go and dazzle me again.

Look around, my friends. We’ve arrived at the threshold of hell.

Neal Moritz (Prom Night remake, I Am Legend) is producing a Look Who’s Talking remake. Yes: The king of the talking baby movies is returning. The one that started it all, racking up nearly $300 million worldwide and spawning two sequels. They’re remaking it. Making it again. Doing it over.

Is there nothing sacred?

I think TK said it best after I told him about this: “Why would they remake Look Who’s Talking? Why? Didn’t we already have three perfectly sh*tty movies to live with?”

You can never have enough perfectly sh*tty movies, I guess. And now a whole new generation of parents can suffer the pain.

They’re also making a movie based on the E*Trade talking babies, so don’t blow your “infants with comically adult voices” movie fund on a second showing of LWT. Two reasons to post this: (1) The original Look Who’s Talking came out in 1989, which is the latest year yet (I think) for Hollywood’s horrific remake trend. When they start recycling stuff from the 90s, the boycott is on. (2) Is it now officially time … for a government takeover? I know fiscal conservatives oppose such things on principle, but hear me out. For one thing, Hollywood’s product has grown so awful that even the movie equivalent of government cheese couldn’t be worse. Can The One really come up with a worse idea than a “Look Who’s Talking” remake? I ask you. For another thing, liberals already own the industry. Nationalizing it would merely formalize the reality on the ground. Best of all, having federal oversight means the GOP would finally be able to exert some creative pressure once they’re back in power. Granted, in theory we can already do that by staying away from leftist movies, but in practice that doesn’t work: The industry’s endless array of anti-war agitprop has collectively grossed about three dollars, but they just keep churning it out, don’t they? For once, socialism just might be the answer to our problems. Coming soon in 2012: “Avatar 2: The Marines Strike Back.

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