Man - I'm like 'SOLD!' right?
I mean, seriously, who are these guys kidding? But let's hear them out anyway.
It's the polite thing to do.
But first, what started the current Euro-heart attack was kind of a tweaky little Greenland Xweet Mrs Stephen Miller put up.
🇺🇸🇬🇱⚡️ — Stephen Miller’s wife, Katie Miller, posted a picture of Greenland being a part of America with the caption “SOON.” pic.twitter.com/IgYYnFSWKJ
— Gabriela Iglesias🇺🇲 (@iglesias_gabby) January 4, 2026
HILARIOUS
I laughed.
And then Jake Frickin Tapper asked her always-ready-with-an-answer husband about it, and woof.
.@StephenM: "The United States is the power of NATO. For the United States to secure the arctic region, to protect and defend NATO and NATO interests, obviously, Greenland should be part of the United States." pic.twitter.com/ah0CK3bCKk
— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) January 5, 2026
Trump doesn't help by piling on with one of his off-the-cuff Air Force One cabin riffs about Greenland. How we 'need it' for our national security because it's 'covered up' with Russian and Chinese ships right now.
YOU KNOW WHAT DENMARK DID RECENTLY TO ADD SECURITY TO GREENLAND?
THEY ADDED ONE MORE DOGSLED
🚨 WOAH! President Trump just been Denmark on notice that GREENLAND might become ours following the US operation in Venezuela 👀
— Nick Sortor (@nicksortor) January 5, 2026
“We NEED Greenland. And we’ll worry about Greenland in about two months 😏”
Don’t test 47, Denmark! pic.twitter.com/oZFFTaEdUl
Woof.
CARDIAC ARREST TIME
Holy crap, the Europeans had the hurt hook in their mouths and were swallowing hard.
The Germans are all, 'That means war with Europe!'
Germany's Foreign Minister Johann Wadephul reminds the United States if they attack Greenland it'll be war with Europe: “Greenland is part of the Kingdom of Denmark. And since Denmark is a member of NATO, Greenland will, in principle, also be subject to NATO defence”. pic.twitter.com/lS4kdBq0qj
— Anonymous (@YourAnonCentral) January 5, 2026
The Danish prime minister said they'll quit NATO. Or maybe the US will.
Someone will quit, dang it.
WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE QUIT?!
NATO will cease to exist if the United States invades Greenland
— Global Report (@Globalrepport) January 5, 2026
“Everything will stop — including NATO and the security system that has been in place since the end of World War II,”
- Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen said.
She thinks the U.S exist because of NATO pic.twitter.com/Uijeua8OTM
And some cranky schmuck from Austria said that Europe will 'confiscate all the US bases in Europe' and they'll make us leave! Hah! Take THAT, YANQUI!
If the US annexes Greenland we must confiscate all US bases in Europe, says Austria's NATO enlargement committee chairman Fehlinger.
— Mariska den Eelden 🇪🇺🇳🇱 (@eeldenden) January 6, 2026
"If you take Greenland, you have to leave". pic.twitter.com/LJcwMVf5O2
Does this fool not realize that Trump will have people packing the second he hears that? He's been tired of paying to support Europe for years now.
Fine. Kick us out, and good luck to you, you feckless putzes.
Greenland's prime minister wasn't taking the bait.
🚨Greenland PM:
— MAGA’s the Fix™ (@Honesttruthman) January 5, 2026
"We are open for business" with the United States!
After all the noise, looks like smart talks & mutual respect are winning.
Minerals, security, jobs for Greenlanders + stronger Arctic presence for us.
Huge W for America 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/Qrl5HZROrd
In classic European waffling fashion, they got a committee together and drafted a letter to President Trump today, which again, in its marvelous Euro-ambiguity, settled nothing.
At the end of the statement, they close by stating, “Greenland belongs to its people. It is for Denmark and Greenland, and them only, to decide on matters concerning Denmark and Greenland.”
Joint statement published today by the Leaders of Denmark, France, Germany, Italy, Poland, Spain, and the United Kingdom, regarding recent statements made by President Donald J. Trump and NATO’s defense of Greenland as well as the Arctic. At the end of the statement, they close… pic.twitter.com/NuKEmSOivB
— OSINTdefender (@sentdefender) January 6, 2026
Hang on here. Are Greenland's people Greenland's, or Denmark's?
Somebody help me.
Some of Greenland's actual people think the US running things might not be such a bad idea.
'The Danish cannot handle the surveillance of the Arctic and Greenland... We are the front yard of the US.'
— GB News (@GBNEWS) January 6, 2026
Danish-Greenlandic political figure Jørgen Boassen on why he is in favour of America gaining control of Greenland. pic.twitter.com/PoNu0fTA6D
He can probably also read a map.
Greenland - As viewed from a proper map
— Object Zero (@Object_Zero_) January 6, 2026
Why Greenland? Well because Moscow bases almost all of their strategic military assets on the Kola Peninsula next to Finland. This is where the Russian ICBM silos, submarine bases, and their strategic bombers are.
If you look at the… pic.twitter.com/z6qECCJ3u5
I mean, all this big talk and letters to the president, even as they tiptoe around the US when face-to-face?
Come on, you hothouse tulips - you're not fooling anyone.
...With Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelensky insisting a plan to end the war with Russia is "90% of the way there", no-one in that room wanted to jeopardise keeping the Americans onboard.
But there was an immense elephant in that grand and glittering Paris meeting and the underlying atmosphere was extremely tense.
Bear in mind the events of the last few days: the Trump administration's controversial intervention in Venezuela and the US president's insistence soon after, that "we need Greenland from the standpoint of national security".
Greenland is the world's largest island - it's six times the size of Germany. It lies in the Arctic but is an autonomous territory of Denmark's.
At the Paris meeting, Mette Frederiksen, Denmark's Prime Minister, was sitting opposite two powerful figures representing Trump: special envoy Steve Witkoff and Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner.
She was under pressure from European colleagues not to antagonise the US over Greenland, in case that impacts US support for Ukraine.
Besides - we've got our secret weapon locked and loaded, as the boss says.
Rubio realizing he has to be Goverrnor of Greenland pic.twitter.com/S73Foe9GB7
— Peter R Hann Goldbug Weirdo/Silver Affectionado (@PeterRHann1) January 6, 2026
Sec State's furred up and ready to go.
Get in the car, you guys.
We're leavin'!
Beege UPDATES: OMG, this broke right before this thing published.
Denmark needs to bow down to King Marco, the world's busiest man.
— JWF (@JammieWF) January 6, 2026
FRICK
And Marco wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer. https://t.co/clrME5xrJ1 pic.twitter.com/2Ao9ymThKR
— Benedict Spence (@BenedictSpence) January 6, 2026
It might be over before it even began.
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