Oh, this greasy phony baloney.
There are times he outflimflams himself, and the performance is so bad, and such a flagrantly outrageous lie, you have to watch, mesmerized.
Like a chicken watching a cobra, cuz that's kind of what his twitchy hands look like.
If any of you are unfamiliar with my headline, it's a reference to a really goofy 1979 Steve Martin flick called The Jerk.
In the heartwarming yet heartrending opening scene, young, simple-minded Nathan (played with tremendous emotional range by Martin) learns that life has played a cruel joke on him. The poor, black sharecropping family who lovingly raised him to adulthood is not his biological family.
His whole life has been a lie.
His feeling of being 'different' from the rest of his family existed because he was.
And he goes off to make his way in the world.
Shockingly, this is what we're finding, thanks to a confession during a recent podcast appearance, is parallel to Gavin Newsom's origin story. It's only short of a family of black sharecroppers (but I have faith - give it a couple of retellings).
Little did anyone guess that the slick, urbane, gleaming-toothed weasel grew up a poor child of the streets, like Oliver Twist.
Where life was all about paying the bills and wondering where the next moldy piece of Wonder Bread would come from.
...“My mom was 19, pregnant and divorced a few years later, with two kids,” he said on the podcast. “Came from no money and just hustled. You know, worked hard, grinding every single day. Two and a half jobs, no bulls—.”
“We had roommates all the time because she couldn’t afford the rent,” he continued. “…It was also about paying the bills, man. It was just like hustling and and so I was out there, kind of raising myself, turning on the TV, just getting obsessed. I was sitting there with the Wonder Bread…the macaroni and cheese.”
Throughout his career, Newsom has told similar hardscrabble stories implying that he grew up in poverty or in the lower echelons of the middle class, seeking to be more relatable to voters.
HARDSCRABBLE
I mean, seriously.
WHO KNEW?
Gavin debuts his hip hop persona on an NBA podcast:
— John LeFevre (@JohnLeFevre) October 26, 2025
"It was about payin' the bills, man."
"Hustlin."
"I raised myself."
"Wonder bread and Mac 'n cheese. That's how I grew up, bro."
(His dad was the attorney for the billionaire Getty family.)pic.twitter.com/24CXtlF4fS
I RAISED MYSELF
There aren't enough Kleenexes with lotion in the world to get through this.
Hearing that sob story, you would have to believe that the natty Gavster in this photo had acquired the clothes he's wearing to pose in, including the authentic Burberry scarf, by attacking someone well-to-do as they walked through an alley in San Francisco on their way to the office or dinner, and everything just happened to fit the slender young highwayman perfectly.
Mr Elite Vampire Academy reminiscing on his Thug Life dayz pic.twitter.com/FxJlbHafAy
— DissidentAG (@LuckyNumbr_13) October 26, 2025
Street thug extraordinaire.
BREAKING NEWS:
— C3 (@C_3C_3) October 26, 2025
A photo of Gavin Newsom and his childhood street gang from the San Francisco hood has been found.
It’s a miracle he didn’t end up just another statistic… pic.twitter.com/DEU7cPB4yF
As long as you ignore the caption of the photo identifying Newsom and his fellow gang members as 'posing for a 'Children of the Rich' feature' which had run in a 1991 San Francisco Chronicle.
Two of his thug-life posse members' last names are 'Getty.'
So you'd be wrong about the 'poor' part, while probably dead on to this day about his being a thug.
There are a few problems with Gavin's rags-to-riches story.
The first part is about scraping by.
Times might have been a little tight after his father, who was a Getty family personal attorney (actually delivered the ransom payment in the kidnapping case) didn't win his Senate run in 1968 and lost his law firm.
But was he living a 'hardscrabble' life?
Not when you compare him and J.D.'s high school pictures, as master of the cheap shot, Newsom was quick to do.
I miss that scarf. https://t.co/SPPkYRrV6U
— Gavin Newsom (@GavinNewsom) August 18, 2025
He's been an insufferable snot from the get-go.
And, apparently, an over-indulged Getty pet.
If you want to really understand Gavin Newsom, how he got his starts in business and politics, and his family's relationship with the Getty family, read this thread. It's just pages of an archived article but it's super interesting. It's based on an interview with his father from… pic.twitter.com/n8Az9wjMST
— MAZE (@mazemoore) October 27, 2025
...Before Gavin became Mayor of SF his father did an interview with SF Weekly. The newspaper then published an article entitled "Bringing Up Baby Gavin." The article is no longer on the SF Weekly website but it wasn't difficult to find an archived version of it.
Most people know about Newsom's father and the Getty family but there's some great details in this article. Gavin Newsom's father was a judge who used his position to help Gordon Getty get access to the Getty family money. He even helped Gordon Getty sue his own father to get access to the family trust. In return for these favors and many others, Gordon Getty put him in charge of managing a massive amount of money. Guess how Gavin got the funds to start his fancy businesses at such a young age.
In 10 of Gavin's first 11 businesses, the primary money came from the Getty family.
Gavin Newsom currently claims that he got his start in politics after Willie Brown read an article about him, called him and offered him a position. That's not at all what Gavin's father said in 2003. Gavin's father said he was responsible for Willie Brown giving Newsom his start. That makes a little more sense.
Mac and cheeseballs.
This is Newsom’s idea of Mac and Cheese. pic.twitter.com/nJwZEXw1wH
— Brad Pettit (@bradpettit) October 26, 2025
There's a Getty in this Gavin picture, too.
Here is the story from December 1991 of Gavin Newsom and his partners Bill & Andrew Getty opening the "Plump Jack" liquor store in San Francisco :
— Don Penim (@Don_Penim) September 25, 2025
..."If you are the scion of a wealthy, privileged old-money family, what do you do for a living?
.. Well, you might try opening a… pic.twitter.com/OMQZqnXYyp
And the poor sharecroppers dancing on the porch?
Not in Gavin's family tree of connections.
You should recognize some familiar San Francisco royalty names.
Newsom's family history: pic.twitter.com/PlYSG4U0KX
— I Love America News (@ILA_NewsX) October 26, 2025
No Wonder Bread at the Pelosi's house or Governor Brown's.
Gavin Newsom, once featured in "Children of the Rich" column, tells NBA podcast how he raised himself and survived on Wonder Breadhttps://t.co/Mf2fVrt6gP
— Not the Bee (@Not_the_Bee) October 27, 2025
This is dang near the saddest poor-mouth story... that never was.
It must kill him, J.D. came by that t-shirt honestly...not that he'd be caught dead in it.
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