Whatever's in the Water in Europe

AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin

It's the Friday before a holiday weekend.

I mean, Ed hasn't said anything yet to us here at the saltmines, but we're thinking we're not playin' Monday, so it'll be a peasant revolt in effect.

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(And then he'll whip out his Mel Brooks Louis XIV skeet shooting gif like the tough guy he is.)

YOU CAN'T INTIMIDATE US, BOSSY BIG MAN

(David said that, Ed.) (Wasn't me.)

To celebrate a break in the action - and PULL! - I thought I'd share a couple of really ludicrous anecdotes about our European brethren that don't have enough meat on the bone for posts in and of themselves, but work beautifully in something like this.

The first features the Empress of Europe, my favoritest Bond villainess ever, Ursula Von der Leyen, Queen and President of the European Commission.

There isn't enough time in the day to discuss all the things wrong with the un-democratically elected bureaucrat Von der Leyen's imperial laying waste to the European Union and its members through her various edicts and whimsies, dictating as she does policy changes to the heads of what used to be sovereign states before they put their national...identities in a purse and handed it over to her.

One of the best moments this year from a knuckledragging American rusticant's perspective had to be the enormous setdown she received at the recent White House conclave over the Ukrainian situation. The freely and duly elected leader of our country intended to meet with his peers in Europe during the visit and, as no citizen had ever cast an election vote for Ms Von der Leyen, she was asked to leave the room.

SQUISH

There was a nose sincerely out of joint, according to the European blogs and news sites I frequent, but being a diplomat, the EU President played it off. As she did when she marched to what she was sure was her spot in the middle of the photo line-up, only to find she was banished to holding up one wing. Again, not a 'leader.'

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That was fun.

I'm starting to believe Trump's triumphs and her various losses of face have affected her, because she's saying some things in public that don't add up. The latest is so far off base, I'm wondering if she didn't trip in a Brussels ladies' room and hit her head on a golden lavatory fixture.

That's the only explanation for why, during a recent visit to Latvia, she's trying to blame the Russians...for Europe's flood of immigrants.

During a meeting in Latvia to organize EU defenses, European Commision President Ursula von der Leyen outlines how Russian President Vladimir Putin is to blame for the EU importing millions of Mideast and African immigrants.

THE WEAPONIZING OF MIGRANTS

HO-kay.

I mean, what was that?

Even more hilarious are the rumors going around right now about Friedrich Merz's big plans for 2027.

You thought Germany was in bad shape now?

Wait a year or so if Merz still has a job.

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Seriously! 

WHAT'S IN THE WATER

But Merz may be thinking too far ahead, and it again concerns those pesky migrants the Russians have cleverly been flooding Germany with for all these years.

According to Das Bild, for the elections in Cologne, Germany, the local parties - sans the Alternative for Germany (AfD), of course - have all come to a kumbaya agreement about 'immigrants.'

They will speak no evil of the uninvited foreigners swarming their country.

Bizarre gag agreement in Cologne's local election campaign! At the initiative of the "Cologne Round Table for Integration" association, the CDU, SPD, Greens, FDP, Left Party, and Volt have signed a pledge not to speak negatively about migration during the election campaign.

This so-called "fairness agreement" between the parties (the AfD was not even consulted) stipulates that "migrants and refugees may not be held responsible for negative social developments such as unemployment or threats to internal security." The parties fundamentally pledged to "not campaign at the expense of people with a migrant background living among us."

Result: The only relevant party in the Cologne election campaign that addresses negative aspects of immigration is the AfD.

“That our parties are so stupid...”

"It's tactically stupid not to address issues and leave them to the AfD," political scientist Werner Patzelt told BILD. He's speechless "that our parties are so stupid that they don't see the tactical disadvantage and that they are so weak-minded that they don't see that they themselves are damaging our democracy by not wanting to talk about important issues."

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AfD can talk about the rampaging, benefit mooching interlopers all they want.

It's an absolutely BRILLIANT PLAN, Watson!

...That’s right:

Everybody from the rebranded ex-communists in Die Linke to the centre-right Christian Democratic Union have agreed to give Alternative für Deutschland a political monopoly over the most important issue of our era ahead of municipal elections in Cologne on 28 September.

Specifically, the dumbass signatories have agreed “to respect the diversity of our society”; “to promote … tolerance and peaceful coexistence among people of different origins, cultures, and religions”; “not to campaign at the expense of people with a migrant background”; “not to stir up prejudice” and “not to blame migrants and refugees for negative social developments such as unemployment or threats to domestic security.” They have done this because it makes them feel warm and fuzzy inside even though it is plainly and objectively retarded.

Memories are much shorter and much more forgiving in Cologne, I guess, as it was New Year's Eve only ten years ago that 'migrants' were partying like it was 1999 and plenty of locals had bad things to say about it.

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And now?

Oooh, don't you dare speak a cross word about them.

My favorite German blogger sounds so cynical about this truly awesome moment of Teutonic progressive peace, love, goodwill, and happiness.

...Note the moral confidence – so intense as to approach the inner peace and the ignorant bliss of the recently lobotomised. These are people who have not had a critical thought about anything since 1972 and whose moral narcissism is so overweening that it has finally deprived them of all contact with reality. People like this are driving the Federal Republic into the ground almost as quickly as they are setting their own political organisations on fire. It is a race to see which they’ll destroy first.

The 'migrants' who now make up 40% or so of the city's population, and whom folks in Cologne now profess to welcome, are leaving an indelible mark on a once 'German' city. They are the reason 'playgrounds' are no longer called such in case young children actually - God forbid - go to them, and were the genesis of the bizarre posters warning immigrants about white people accosting them in swimming pools.

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They seem to have really added tremendous value to the area. Or added tremendously to the area's population.

No wonder the mainstream parties are trying to make nice.

SQUEEE!

One must always be wary of white people in the water.

One probably should be more wary of what's IN the water there, period, no?

Happy Friday, and have a great Labor Day Weekend!

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John Sexton 5:00 PM | August 29, 2025
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