Sorry, Y'All - I Need a Cigarette and a Cocktail After Watching That Oval Office Manfest

AP Photo/Evan Vucci

GAH-RRRROOOWWWLLLLLLLL!

I just can't even with the massive overdose of testosterone flooding the airwaves.

What the hell has come over this country and THANK GOD FOR IT.

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It's like brother Bingley says:

I mean, to be perfectly honest, you could kind of see where it got off on the wrong foot right from the get-go.

Sweater Boy showed up to the TRUMP White House in his sweater boy outfit, which President Trump was quick to point out.

HOLY CRAP

His schitck is great for Europe and campaigning with Kamala at Pennsylvania bomb factories, but dear Lord.

Put a suit on, dude. Bomb-free zone and all that.

All I can think is that the man has become so used to dealing with American simps like POTATUS, Kamala, Winken Blinken, Snek Sullivan, and a fawning media, that the gravitas of being the president of a country engaged in real - and in his case, desperate - diplomacy to save that country got lost in the celebrity and check-grabbing glad-handing.

Zelensky demanded, Zelensky received wherever he went, barely a question asked. And many times, if it was, it was shouted down by 'TOOL OF PUTIN!' accusations or worse.

It's gotten pretty tiresome.

As was watching our elected and unelected officials scurry around in obsequious respect to a man who owed this country for his very survival yet had the unmitigated nerve to publicly chastise anyone who wanted an accounting of where all the largesse was going, check after check after, oh, look - yet another check.

HOW DARE YOU

Did no one on his staff alert him that there were two different animals in the White House now? Two thoroughly American alpha males?

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I can only assume his staff doesn't know what that is and didn't think to warn the boss because he walked straight into an ass-whooping that he brought on himself (Ed's got the whole excruciating thing here).

Now, I realize European manners are a whole different universe than ours, and I GET IT, DUDE. I really do. I understand this is a life-or-death thing for you.

There's been too much death.

However, I cannot recall a single instance in any of the meetings with EU members where Zelensky started a peevish argument with his hosts in full view of the press and right in the living room after his arrival.

Please correct me if I'm wrong - I don't think I am.

Judging by the Ukrainian ambassador's face during the set-to, I know I am.

Vice President Vance is a keeper. He shot right into the middle of Zelensky's excruciating (that's the only word) opening, deflecting much of the Ukrainian's grandstanding for the cameras and several times pointing out that the litigation belonged in the conference room, not in the Oval Office.

I do not understand what Zelensky thought he was going to accomplish.

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It was starting to look like Zelensky was wondering, too.

But he really should swear under his breath when he's the one who started the whole thing in front of the cameras.

J.D. also pinned Zelensky, as he worked himself up attacking the Trump plans, if he'd ever once during the meeting told President Trump 'thank you' for what this administration had already sent.

The media sailed in to give Zelensky a little boost that was quickly shot down.

Hundreds of billions.

President Trump, who had held himself out of the JD-Zelensky back and forth with remarkable restraint, finally blew and then said, 'It's going to be awfully tough to do business like this.'  The press conference ended as did any discussions. 

Zelensky was informed by his staff that he could leave the White House, like, STAT.

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YOU HAVE NO CARDS

Zelensky's been playing a bluff hand with a blind eye since Trump got elected, and it just bit him big time.

I mean, l when you even lose Lindsey Graham?

...“Americans witnessing this would not want Zelenskyy to be their business partner including me. I've never been more proud of Trump for showing the American people and the world, you don't trifle with this man.”

“Vance was awesome!”

This isn't Zelensky's former Sugar Daddy's White House.

As a president himself, the least he should have done was show some manners until the doors shut behind the last reporter's ass.

He would have saved himself the all-American FAFO lesson in diplomatic etiquette of a lifetime.

I'll bet he wishes he'd thought of that.

Know what I mean?

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