This Thanksgiving Be More Like Bernie Around the Dinner Table

AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

For most people, holiday meals are a highlight of the season. Thanksgiving is a holiday that is centered around a feast. We give thanks for the bounty of blessings we have, including the harvest of crops.

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I think Thanksgiving is the best of our holidays. Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas and all the vibes around it during the season, but Thanksgiving is a truly all-American holiday. And the star of the holiday is a really good meal.

Gathering with family and friends is a blessing. Some families, though, experience a lot of stress around the Thanksgiving table because of the discussions that happen between family members. The dinner talk can shift into a political discussion and that is not good. Thankfully, I have not experienced this but apparently the problems really escalated during the Trump years. Shocker, I know. I had no idea that so many families were dealing with ugly divisions due to politics.

When I grew up, back in the olden days, my parents taught my sisters and me that some subjects are not to be brought up at the dinner table. Those subjects included politics and religion. It’s not polite to inflict political opinions or religious thoughts on guests. Not everyone will agree with everyone else and those discussions can be held elsewhere, at a different time. Take them into the living room with the coffee and second helping of dessert, if you must but let everyone enjoy a peaceful meal.

There are various opinions about stress and handling disagreements during holiday get-togethers. Some ‘experts’ say to just let it out and that is a more healthy way of coping. John wrote about that approach yesterday.

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I read about a different approach for those looking for solutions. Try to de-escalate an overheated discussion by doing as Bernie Sanders would do. I know, I think this is the first time where I’m using Bernie Sanders as an example of a calm voice. It’s been a strange few weeks, y’all. John Fetterman sounds sane and loyal to Israel and Bernie Sanders broke up an argument between a senator and a union boss during a Senate hearing before it escalated into a physical fight.

Emily M. Dickens, chief of staff for the Society for Human Resource Management, looks at the tension through her professional training.

On a single day last week, a former MMA fighter turned senator – Republican Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma – threatened to fight Teamsters boss Sean O’Brien at a Senate hearing before being stopped by 82-year-old Chairman Bernie Sanders, I-Vt. The former speaker of the House, Rep. Kevin McCarthy, elbow-checked one of the eight Republicans who removed him from power last month, Rep. Tim Burchett, R-Tenn. A hallway chase ensued. And an angry House Oversight Chairman, James Comer, called a Democratic colleague he didn’t like a “smurf.”

“I just think every now and again, we need that reminder, we get so caught up and passionate about the things that we truly believe. And sometimes you lose control because of compassion,” Dickens said. “We’re human.”

It’s a lesson that also applies to families gathered around Thanksgiving tables this week, where talk of turkey and football can shift unpredictably into political feuds or airing of longstanding family grievances.

Dickens said everyone can take a page from Sanders – according to memes, the Senate’s very own crazy uncle. If anyone tries to throw down at the table — whether a senator, a union boss or otherwise — remind friends and family who they are and why they’re there.

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Remember what Bernie did when Senator Mullin stood up as he addressed O’Brien? Bernie reminded him that he is a United States senator and there is the expectation of decorum. He refused to allow either Mullin or O’Brien to continue to speak until he got the situation under control. Suddenly, crazy old Uncle Bernie was the sane one in charge.

Dickens said the host should communicate with guests before the gathering and let them know what is and is not acceptable behavior. Send a note or a text to let them know. How sad, though, that our culture has deteriorated to the point where dinner guests have to be reminded how to behave.

Most of the bad behavior, from what I’ve seen, comes from progressives that are infected with Trump Derangement Syndrome. Trump broke lots of people and many have yet to recover. The media incites political discord on a daily basis and seems unable to go for very long without bringing Trump into stories in order to trash him and/or his supporters.

The best advice is the simplest. Take a breath before speaking if someone sets you off. Ignore it and deny the other person the satisfaction of triggering you. Remember that the host put a lot of time and energy into the gathering and the least her/his guests can do is be appreciative and respectful. There are lots of other subjects to talk about besides politics. And, most of all, grow the hell up.

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Happy Thanksgiving.

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