We’re talking about M&Ms here. Does the green M&M dressed in white go-go boots look too sexy to you? Apparently, that is a real question that is being addressed. M&M’s are the flagship product of the Mars Wrigley Confectionery division of Mars, Incorporated. In order to make their sugar-coated chocolate candies less sexy, the green M&M will get a makeover. Out are the stiletto-heeled white go-go boots, in are sneakers. The candymaker has gone woke enough to redesign the product to reflect a “more dynamic, progressive world.”

This week, like the weeks before, has included some really odd stories, along with some that are just dumb. This story has to be right up there in the top ten for this week. Isn’t it enough that the candy has been humanized into talking pieces of candy, some who are decked out with accessories? It was a marketing decision to turn the very popular candy into talking creatures who bicker and outsmart each other in television commercials. Now, however, in 2022 everything must be about diversity and inclusion. The green M&M is female and she was designed with the aforementioned boots as well as long eyelashes and makeup. Mars said on Thursday that the focus now is on “personalities, rather than their gender.” Again, we’re talking about candy here.

M&M’s iconic characters — six different colored “lentils,” each with their own personality — have gotten a modern makeover for a “more dynamic, progressive world,” Mars said Thursday. The redesign is focused on creating a sense of belonging and community, as well as spotlighting the character’s “personalities, rather than their gender.”

The most notable changes include the green M&M’s redesign, which will exchange the white heeled go-go boots she was given in 1997 for “cool, laid-back sneakers to reflect her effortless confidence.” Mars had received criticism for the green M&M’s sexy characterization. The green M&M will also be “better represented to reflect confidence and empowerment, as a strong female, and known for much more than her boots.”

The green M&M and the brown M&M will have a more friendly relationship, showcasing a “force supporting women.” The two characters’ dynamic will have them “together throwing shine and not shade,” the company said. The two characters have sometimes been at odds in advertisements, but they have also been seen as friends — or more than friends in others, like this viral tweet from 2015 showing the two holding hands on a beach.

No more cat fights between the green and brown characters. (Yes, I know that cat fight is a sexist term. Let it go.) They are friends now, supporting each other. Or something. If they were human beings instead of candy, that would be a nice goal. Women are often brutal to each other. I can confirm this opinion

It’s rare Ms. Brown and I get to spend time together without some colorful characters barging in. – Ms. Green pic.twitter.com/hnoktsAgAW

— M&M'S (@mmschocolate) June 28, 2015

The brown M&M is losing her high heels, too. She’ll be wearing a more “professional” height in heels. Others are getting makeovers, too.

The orange M&M, who has an anxious personality, will “embrace his true self, worries and all.” But the orange M&M’s shoe laces will now be tied to represent his cautious nature. According to Mars, the orange M&M is “one of the most relatable characters with Gen-Z,” which is the “most anxious generation.”

The red M&M, who has shown bully tendencies in the past, will be more kind to his co-characters.

I’m not sure how the shoelaces of the orange M&M will be tied. Does cautiously mean double-knotted, like parents of toddlers do to their shoes? This is all just so weird.

Here’s a thought – what if the green M&M and the brown M&M were using their heel heights as an expression of their personalities? Why do they have to go to flatter heels or sneakers to be boring? There are all kinds of personalities out there. Some women wear a lot of makeup and dress in a very feminine style. Others like a more relaxed look and live in jeans and t-shirts. It’s no big deal. Why is frilly a bad thing? Do men have to be in suits to be taken seriously? Why does inclusive mean conforming to one ideal? That is the exact opposite to diversity.

The cherry on top of this crap sundae is that Mars says they will change the shapes and sizes of the M&Ms. Also, the company will remove prefixes in the characters names to move away from confirmation of gender. Is the woke community really bombarding Mars with this nonsense? It’s hard to believe that the company would go to these lengths spontaneously. It’s not even a real problem for these imaginary characters – only the brown M&M has a prefix on the company website. She’s called Ms. Brown.

This country has 99 problems and the M&M characters aren’t one of them. Give us a break. If we are buying into the characters and their personalities, why do they all have to be boring? Shouldn’t a diverse group include all types of personalities? Why is sexy or flirtatious bad? Even the green M&M isn’t taking this seriously.

Did my shoes really break the internet? pic.twitter.com/ZaisgZ9QYZ

— M&M'S (@mmschocolate) January 20, 2022

lord forgive me for commenting sincerely about a cartoon m&m but what exactly is girl power about making the one girl m&m give up her cute ass white boots?? why do portrayals of female empowerment need to mean devaluing femininity?? https://t.co/4OUuGwXtzq

— known gaslighter (@AFABRocky) January 21, 2022